Normally by the time spouses and partners are asking for help
with sex addiction, they have already tried to talk to their partners
with little success. If this sounds familiar to you, here are some tips
to help you broach the subject of sex addiction and get some help.
The help of a third party
Sometimes it can be helpful to talk to your partner with a third party present. This could be a therapist, a pastor, or a professional or community member with whom you feel comfortable. It is especially helpful if this third party is knowledgeable about sex addiction.
Sex addiction has historically been viewed as 'fake,' but it is slowly gaining acceptance, thus making help easier to find. The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health lists professional members on its website, and you can look there to find a provider in your area. If there isn't one, call the one nearest to you and see if they can refer you. If you still have no success, keep digging.
Keep track of your feelings and trauma
Dealing with your partner's sex addiction can be stressful and emotionally difficult for you. If your partner has been unfaithful to you, it can result in post-traumatic stress for you. The traumatic memory will seem like it was "just yesterday" even though it may have been years ago, and can continue to haunt you for a long time. Current traumatic experiences can trigger past traumatic experiences, leading to a snowball effect of trauma and stress. Don't be afraid to seek help for yourself if you need it. Seeking the help of a therapist during this hard time is essential for your mental health.
Getting support
During this hard time, you will probably need help for yourself. Search out meetings for the partners of sex addicts. If there are Al-Anon meetings in your area, you can attend these too - they are meant for the partners of alcoholics, but partners of all kinds of addicts attend and help each other. These meetings are appropriate for you even though your partner's addiction is not alcoholism.
Help for your partner
Your partner will need professional help if he hopes to defeat this addiction. A Twelve-Step program would be useful, especially in conjunction with therapy. There are 12 step recovery groups in your community or online or via telephone. The important step is the sex addict get started on the path to recovery.
The help of a third party
Sometimes it can be helpful to talk to your partner with a third party present. This could be a therapist, a pastor, or a professional or community member with whom you feel comfortable. It is especially helpful if this third party is knowledgeable about sex addiction.
Sex addiction has historically been viewed as 'fake,' but it is slowly gaining acceptance, thus making help easier to find. The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health lists professional members on its website, and you can look there to find a provider in your area. If there isn't one, call the one nearest to you and see if they can refer you. If you still have no success, keep digging.
Keep track of your feelings and trauma
Dealing with your partner's sex addiction can be stressful and emotionally difficult for you. If your partner has been unfaithful to you, it can result in post-traumatic stress for you. The traumatic memory will seem like it was "just yesterday" even though it may have been years ago, and can continue to haunt you for a long time. Current traumatic experiences can trigger past traumatic experiences, leading to a snowball effect of trauma and stress. Don't be afraid to seek help for yourself if you need it. Seeking the help of a therapist during this hard time is essential for your mental health.
Getting support
During this hard time, you will probably need help for yourself. Search out meetings for the partners of sex addicts. If there are Al-Anon meetings in your area, you can attend these too - they are meant for the partners of alcoholics, but partners of all kinds of addicts attend and help each other. These meetings are appropriate for you even though your partner's addiction is not alcoholism.
Help for your partner
Your partner will need professional help if he hopes to defeat this addiction. A Twelve-Step program would be useful, especially in conjunction with therapy. There are 12 step recovery groups in your community or online or via telephone. The important step is the sex addict get started on the path to recovery.
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