How am I in bed? Am I really good? Do I finish too fast... or
do I last far long enough to finish the job? Does she fantasize about
me when I'm not around? Or... is she thinking about someone else she's
been with when we're in bed?
Any of these questions sound familiar? The truth is, no matter how confident a man may be in other areas of his life, the chances are, he has at least SOME insecurity about sex. Common sexual insecurities include everything from fearing how you measure up to a previous boyfriend or lover, to wondering whether her orgasms are real, to even being curious about what she's actually thinking about while the 2 of you are together.
The good news?
If you are having any of these fears, phobias or gnawing feelings of NOT enough, you are certainly not alone. As a matter of fact, after writing hundreds of articles on sex for both men and women alike, I can tell you that sexual insecurity is something that cuts both ways for BOTH sexes.
The bad news?
It's also something none of us, men or women alike, are really good at communicating to each other, even when we're really close otherwise. This means that if you are a man, and aren't sure how good you are in bed, getting an honest and straightforward answer from your girl may not be as easy as it seems.
With that in mind, here are 2 very simple questions you can ask yourself that not only will help improve your performance between the sheets, they will ALSO lead to a more communicative woman when it comes to telling you what she likes, how she likes it and how MUCH she appreciates your abilities in the sack as well.
1 - Are you setting a good "stage" for sex?
Women rank "setting" or circumstances AROUND sex very highly in terms of erotic importance. Do all women enjoy spontaneous unplanned sex? Of course. BUT, when she thinks you've put time, effort and erotic imagination into the setting, she is going to exponentially enjoy the experience all the more. This includes everything from wine, to candles to location and more... and regardless of your budget or circumstances, you CAN add a luscious layer of erotic imagination to the experience just about every time if you try. (or enough to make the spontaneous sessions all the more enjoyable!)
2 - Are you focused on foreplay?
Believe it or not, most women simply CAN'T climax from intercourse, simply because most men finish too fast! A quick sexual statistic: The average woman has a sexual response cycle that is up to 4 times longer than her partner. The average man climaxes in 7 minutes or less, from the start of sex, to the end. Women need closer to 15 minutes MINIMUM, on average... to achieve orgasm from intercourse. The good news? Foreplay is not only the great erotic expediter, it's also a much easier way for her to orgasm as well. And of course, as I'm sure you know... the more often she orgasms, the more likely it is that she is going to consider you uniquely sexy and sensational in the sack!
Any of these questions sound familiar? The truth is, no matter how confident a man may be in other areas of his life, the chances are, he has at least SOME insecurity about sex. Common sexual insecurities include everything from fearing how you measure up to a previous boyfriend or lover, to wondering whether her orgasms are real, to even being curious about what she's actually thinking about while the 2 of you are together.
The good news?
If you are having any of these fears, phobias or gnawing feelings of NOT enough, you are certainly not alone. As a matter of fact, after writing hundreds of articles on sex for both men and women alike, I can tell you that sexual insecurity is something that cuts both ways for BOTH sexes.
The bad news?
It's also something none of us, men or women alike, are really good at communicating to each other, even when we're really close otherwise. This means that if you are a man, and aren't sure how good you are in bed, getting an honest and straightforward answer from your girl may not be as easy as it seems.
With that in mind, here are 2 very simple questions you can ask yourself that not only will help improve your performance between the sheets, they will ALSO lead to a more communicative woman when it comes to telling you what she likes, how she likes it and how MUCH she appreciates your abilities in the sack as well.
1 - Are you setting a good "stage" for sex?
Women rank "setting" or circumstances AROUND sex very highly in terms of erotic importance. Do all women enjoy spontaneous unplanned sex? Of course. BUT, when she thinks you've put time, effort and erotic imagination into the setting, she is going to exponentially enjoy the experience all the more. This includes everything from wine, to candles to location and more... and regardless of your budget or circumstances, you CAN add a luscious layer of erotic imagination to the experience just about every time if you try. (or enough to make the spontaneous sessions all the more enjoyable!)
2 - Are you focused on foreplay?
Believe it or not, most women simply CAN'T climax from intercourse, simply because most men finish too fast! A quick sexual statistic: The average woman has a sexual response cycle that is up to 4 times longer than her partner. The average man climaxes in 7 minutes or less, from the start of sex, to the end. Women need closer to 15 minutes MINIMUM, on average... to achieve orgasm from intercourse. The good news? Foreplay is not only the great erotic expediter, it's also a much easier way for her to orgasm as well. And of course, as I'm sure you know... the more often she orgasms, the more likely it is that she is going to consider you uniquely sexy and sensational in the sack!
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