Some experts believe sex addiction has its roots in past trauma.
Many people suffering from this addiction report problems in their
childhoods which related to how they view sex and relationships. While
not all cases can be explained this way, the number of people in
treatment who talk about developing a skewed view of sex and
relationships from an early age is cause for consideration.
According to Therapist Mark Robinett M.A., MFT, on the Sex Addiction Help website, trauma comes in two varieties: developmental and event-based. Each can lead to the development of a sex addiction as they either engage in unhealthy, learned behaviors, or if they use those actions to try to cope with a traumatic event.
Developmental trauma is when the process of learning about sex and relationships was either corrupted, stunted, or did not happen. While males and females can be curious about sex at an early age, it is most often during adolescence they form their ideas on sex and how it works. Given no guidance or education from their elders, adolescents will seek the knowledge elsewhere and unfortunately may end up learning from pornography, the media, or their peers, who may have also learned from those sources. Most adults can view pornography and portrayals of sex in the mainstream media and see it for what it is -- a fantasy. Young people, however, may internalize a false version of the reality and while they may later become aware of the truth on an intellectual level, the foundations of their sexual feelings have been fashioned and can be hard to overcome if they are unhealthy.
Many addicts, especially porn addicts, report coming into contact with pornography at a young age. Not all become sex addicts, but those who have no guidance from an authority figure are often left with a distorted view of what real sex and real relationships are like. They may grow to find difficulty developing a real connection or their desires may be shaped by the fantasy they see and when they do not find it in real life they turn to pornography over real sexual experiences.
Sex addiction has also been linked to people who grew up in households where their parents were distant with them on an emotional level, or exceedingly strict with them. Some sex addicts have connected a lack of attention or sexual repression with a need to act out in a sexual manner. Female addicts that felt ignored growing up may learn sex gets them attention, leading to a craving for the attention. Conversely, men who did not learn how to handle sexual feelings at a young age can find they lack the ability to control themselves as adults.
The other type of trauma can stem from a single incident, or a series of them. Often these are sexually abusive in nature, but any event the person links to sex can be a problem. The addict has learned to cope with the trauma through sexual activity and rather than pursue it as something healthy to be enjoyed, they use it like a medication. Sex causes natural "feel-good" chemicals to be produced in the brain that numb negative feelings for a short time and trigger the brain's reward systems.
Trauma may not be the only factor to cause an individual's addiction and dwelling on the cause may not lead to the cure, however it is valuable for a sex addict to understand their problem. Without the knowledge, this addiction can seem like a mysterious force, one that strikes at random and without rhyme or reason. This makes working through the problem of sex addiction seem intimidating, and while it is not an easy disorder to overcome, knowing more about its roots gives us clarity and makes it more manageable.
According to Therapist Mark Robinett M.A., MFT, on the Sex Addiction Help website, trauma comes in two varieties: developmental and event-based. Each can lead to the development of a sex addiction as they either engage in unhealthy, learned behaviors, or if they use those actions to try to cope with a traumatic event.
Developmental trauma is when the process of learning about sex and relationships was either corrupted, stunted, or did not happen. While males and females can be curious about sex at an early age, it is most often during adolescence they form their ideas on sex and how it works. Given no guidance or education from their elders, adolescents will seek the knowledge elsewhere and unfortunately may end up learning from pornography, the media, or their peers, who may have also learned from those sources. Most adults can view pornography and portrayals of sex in the mainstream media and see it for what it is -- a fantasy. Young people, however, may internalize a false version of the reality and while they may later become aware of the truth on an intellectual level, the foundations of their sexual feelings have been fashioned and can be hard to overcome if they are unhealthy.
Many addicts, especially porn addicts, report coming into contact with pornography at a young age. Not all become sex addicts, but those who have no guidance from an authority figure are often left with a distorted view of what real sex and real relationships are like. They may grow to find difficulty developing a real connection or their desires may be shaped by the fantasy they see and when they do not find it in real life they turn to pornography over real sexual experiences.
Sex addiction has also been linked to people who grew up in households where their parents were distant with them on an emotional level, or exceedingly strict with them. Some sex addicts have connected a lack of attention or sexual repression with a need to act out in a sexual manner. Female addicts that felt ignored growing up may learn sex gets them attention, leading to a craving for the attention. Conversely, men who did not learn how to handle sexual feelings at a young age can find they lack the ability to control themselves as adults.
The other type of trauma can stem from a single incident, or a series of them. Often these are sexually abusive in nature, but any event the person links to sex can be a problem. The addict has learned to cope with the trauma through sexual activity and rather than pursue it as something healthy to be enjoyed, they use it like a medication. Sex causes natural "feel-good" chemicals to be produced in the brain that numb negative feelings for a short time and trigger the brain's reward systems.
Trauma may not be the only factor to cause an individual's addiction and dwelling on the cause may not lead to the cure, however it is valuable for a sex addict to understand their problem. Without the knowledge, this addiction can seem like a mysterious force, one that strikes at random and without rhyme or reason. This makes working through the problem of sex addiction seem intimidating, and while it is not an easy disorder to overcome, knowing more about its roots gives us clarity and makes it more manageable.
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