Married Sex: The Best of Your Life

Married sex can the best sex of your life because you are making love to your soul mate and not just any person. Let's face it, sex is very important in any marital relationship. As newlyweds, we may crave sex because of the physical pleasure that it brings us, but as you progress through the years in your marriage you may find that making love is more emotionally fulfilling than anything else.

Sex is a physical act that anyone can can enjoy, but making love is so much more than that. It creates an emotional and spiritual bond between you and your spouse that takes your love to the deepest level. It is one of the major steps in creating a marriage between two soul mates and not just two people.

Numerous studies over the years have shown that married couples who have sex frequently are more likely to have a long successful marriage compared to those couples who do not have sex very often. Obviously, this proves the point that married sex plays a vital role in having a solid marriage. So what are you waiting for? Get in that bedroom, or where ever enjoy making love, and express that love for your mate.

Okay, it might not be quite that easy for some of you. You may have some emotional baggage that you need to deal with either with your mate or within yourself. Let's see if we can help you work through some of these issues to improve your married sex life.

Sometimes the loss of intimacy and loss of those feelings of love and passion can be rekindled by going back to the basics. That might mean taking your spouse on a date and re-establishing those non-sexual feelings of love again. Dating your spouse might seem a bit unusual for couples who have been married a long time, but it is amazing how quickly two married partners are able to reconnect with those lost emotions. Once those emotions return married sex can become just as magical as it was in the first days after your wedding.

Just like in the early days of your relationship, romance is the key to keeping those passionate feelings alive and well in your marriage. Romance requires understanding your mate's non-sexual wants and needs. What makes them feel most loved? Is it an intimate love letter? A tender massage? Quiet talking time with them? Or some combination of all of this?

Romancing your mate is the ultimate seduction for a successful married sex life. The more you give to your mate what they want and need outside the bedroom, the more you will receive sexually. Be creative and have fun with this part of your relationship; you may want to challenge yourself to see how many different ways you can romance your mate, but be warned you may find you will be getting more sex than ever and you may need the little blue pill to keep up. Alright, that may be an exaggeration, but you can never show your mate enough love and attention.

Now let's talk about some important differences between men and women in what turns them on sexually. It is critical that you understand what turns on the opposite sex, specifically your spouse. Ladies, men are very visual. If you want to get them all hot and bothered then bring out the sexy lingerie, the bright red lipstick and strike that passionate pose. There is nothing that gets a man turned on more than bright colors, sexy clothing and a gorgeous woman, his wife, passionately pursuing him. Remember, he is visual creature so show him what you have to offer.

Also ladies, your husband loves when you are the sexually aggressive one from time-to-time. When they only get sex when they ask for it or when they make the first move, they begin to feel less fulfillment in their married sex life. They become more vulnerable to sexual flirting from the cutie at work or the neighborhood bar. Don't let this happen by taking a few simple acts of sexual aggression toward your mate. A man absolutely loves for his wife to be seductive and sexy, so bring it on ladies.

Gentlemen, your wife is very different than you when it comes to firing up the passion. Women tend to be very verbal. They want to hear how beautiful they are and how much you love them. You have to express your feelings out loud and let her hear those sweet nothings. They also want to be touched gently before the "main event" begins. Give your wife a soothing, sensual massage, then you can almost guarantee yourself a wild night of married sexual fun and fulfillment.

Your married sex life does not have to become boring or almost non-existent. Instead, it can be just as hot and steamy as it was in the newlywed days when you could never get enough of each other. Be attentive to your spouse's needs and you will find your sexual wants and desires will be fulfilled too.

 

 

Do You Know Someone With A Sex Addiction?

Sex is not a comfortable topic for many people, even though talk about it has become more open and relaxed. People may speak freely of their sexual experiences and particular taste, but what remains taboo are the sexual problems of individuals. Men find talking to their doctors about erectile dysfunction problematic, so it's not surprising that confronting another person about their possible sex addiction would be even more challenging and awkward.

Many addicts choose to seek help from a licensed professional, an expert in the field. However, sex addiction is probably a subject most comfortably discussed among family, closes friends and spouses. For the moment let's address the issue from the friend and family point of view.

Here are some signs a person you know might have a sex addiction:

1. Is their sexual behavior leading to problems?

Are pregnancy scares a common thing for them? Have they caught or transmitted an STD? Being careless about safe sex, having random sex, or having multiple partners are signs of sex addiction. These behaviors show the person has placed fulfillment of sexual needs above all other priorities. Are they putting themselves at risk for problems as a result of their sexual behavior? Sex in the workplace creates a risk of being fired, as does masturbation and viewing pornography while on the job. Even if this is done off site during a lunch hour, these activities show a lack of control and the inability to separate appropriate and inappropriate behaviors.

Some other problems not as tangible, and not as easy to see, are ones involving how much time an individual spends on sex. Oftentimes, the addict will cancel plans to go out or visit, preferring to stay in to watch porn, and/or masturbate. People with an addiction to porn will spend inordinate amounts of time watching videos and films, excluding family and friends. Have they given up hobbies they once enjoyed? Stopped going out on weekends? Maybe you used to talk to them often and they haven't been as available recently?

What might be more visible are their romantic relationships. Do they bounce from one person to another in rapid succession? Are they having a series of "one-night stands? While there is no definitive amount of time one should devote to sex, or a way to measure how much sex is "normal," if someone you know seems like he or she is only in a relationship for the sex, and have been frustrated in forming a real bond, that could be a sign of addiction.

Keep in mind one can be "addicted to love." The act of seduction and the rush of brain chemicals produced when a relationship is in its early stages can form a sex addiction. While men and women can suffer this, female sex addicts are more likely to exhibit this behavior. It may not involve actual sex, but a person who is constantly starting new relationships (sometimes before the previous one ends) or flirts excessively may be showing signs of sex addiction.

2. Do they often talk about sex?

People tend to discuss subjects of interest to them, daily occurrences or events they have experienced. Is your friend bringing up pornography often in idle conversation? Such talk between friends is normal, but note how often the individual talks about it. Does it seem like that is the only thing he or she has to discuss? Are sex and pornography the only topics that seem to peak this person's interest or gets the individual animated? It is possible that's all he or she talks about because it's all that person has to talk about. A porn addict can spend the bulk of his or her free time viewing pornography, leaving them with little else to speak of in conversation.

This can be tricky; each person is different, as is each friendship. A person addicted to sex may not talk about it, feeling shame and guilt, or they may bring it up at inappropriate times.

Note things other than speech, too. Having a poster of an attractive model in one's room is common. Having one's screen saver set to show hardcore pornography might be cause for concern. Do they have pornographic backgrounds on their mobile phones? Inappropriate ring tones? While these may be signs of mere tastelessness, they can also be signs of this addiction.

3. Have they brought up sex addiction in conversation?

Many sex addicts suffer from this addiction for a long time before suspecting they have it, and then a longer time before they stop denying it. If they've broached the subject of sex addiction, they may be testing the waters, so to speak, to see how you will react. Many sex addicts feel ashamed of themselves and keep their addiction a secret for fear they will lose friends. It's not likely they will admit to having a sex addiction, but they may ask you your opinion on it, or talk more in depth about a high profile celebrity claiming to suffer from the issue. They may even mock the notion of sex addiction, feeling you suspect them of it and wanting to alleviate your suspicions.

How you feel about sex addiction is up to you, but most people taking this approach are scared and looking for support and your reaction could affect their choice in receiving professional help.
For spouses and romantic partners, you have a more intimate knowledge of the suspected sex addict than anyone else. Some things you should look for if you suspect your significant other may be suffering from this addiction are:

· Are they becoming more demanding about sex with you?

If is fairly normal for two people in a couple to have differing libidos. It's also pretty common for sex to put a strain on a relationship. How your partner reacts to being told "no" and how insistent is he/she on the subject of sex is an example of where red flags may appear. An addict in need of a substance can become highly agitated when they don't get it. Spousal rape is a real thing, and just because they didn't coerce you into sex with force doesn't mean there wasn't a transgression. A sex addict can exploit the power dynamic in a relationship, threaten to do something negative, or withhold something from their spouse to get sex. If they've resorted to these harmful behaviors, oblivious to the emotional damage being caused, that's a sign of addiction.

· Are they going somewhere else for sex?

Being unfaithful doesn't necessarily mean your partner is a sex addict, but it is certainly one indication, especially if this isn't the first time. While this may be a sign of a troubled marriage, if the bond between you is otherwise strong, the infidelity may be sue to the addiction. An addict craves the physical act of sex, or the intoxicating feeling of a new relationship, they are not necessarily in love with the other person or not in love with you. Often, addicts aren't even interested in the act of sex, but in the repetitive behavior that leads up to the act, creating the dopamine levels the addict craves.

Remember, pornography and masturbation are sex acts. Is your spouse on the computer in the early morning hours before work? Do they hide large amounts of pornography on the computer? Are they less interested in sex with you? How you feel about some masturbation and pornography use is up to you. Some levels of self-gratification and porn are not detrimental, but if the use of these sex acts is at a point of contention, and your partner hasn't given it up, that's a sign they're dealing with an unhealthy compulsion.

It is important to realize that only the addict himself/herself can really know the depths of their addiction and it is the individual that must realize he or she is suffering before treatment and recovery can be sought.

 

 

How Does The First Step To Recovery From Sex Addiction Work?

Sex addiction is characterized by behavior that becomes progressively more damaging and eventually leads to a life that is completely unmanageable by the addict. Despite the mounting evidence in their lives, it can be incredibly difficult for individuals who find themselves in the grip of sex addiction, to admit there is a problem. For most people caught in any addiction, there is a period in which the addict remains convinced that with a little more effort, or with one last attempt, the addiction can be bested. Unfortunately for the truly addicted person this simply is not true.

One of the most effective methods to overcoming this addiction is through engagement in a twelve step program. Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) is one such program that offers worldwide anonymous meetings for people working to recover from sex addiction, as well as accountability, sponsorship, and an important support network of empathetic individuals. The First Step in SAA reads, "We admitted we were powerless over addictive sexual behavior - that our lives had become unmanageable."

It is believed that it is only by recognizing the inability to stop the behaviors associated with this addiction that the addict can hope to actually stop. This realization requires addicts to look outside of themselves for the necessary support and accountability that is so vital to a successful recovery. An individual struggling with this issue is often unable to be truly open and honest without the support of an outside viewpoint. For this reason, the first of the twelve steps to recovery is one that is taken publicly, whether it be one-on-one with a sponsor or in front of a meeting; it is not at all a private or solitary step.

The First Step to sex addiction recovery is not about making changes in the life of the addict. It is about facing and telling the truth about the addictive behaviors and their consequences. There are several ways that this First Step to recovery can be taken by the addict.

During identification at an anonymous meeting. At most meetings of twelve step organizations there is a time in the beginning for members to greet one another and introduce themselves. Generally, the statement goes something like, "Hi, my name is Tom and I'm a sex addict." This can often be the first time an addict has admitted those words out loud. In doing so, he or she is acknowledging powerlessness over the disease.

With a sponsor - Some addicts might prefer to take the First Step away from the comparative formality of an official group meeting. They may decide to share with their sponsor or other close friends from the program they are involved with. The addict may not yet be ready to tell his or her story in front of strangers, but still need to admit the truth in a safe, public environment.

Informal First Step - This is generally a brief presentation made to the group during a scheduled meeting in which addicts share some highlights from their life of sex addiction. This mini First Step to sex addiction recovery is generally about 2 to 5 minutes long.

Formal First Step - In a formal First Step to sex addiction recovery, addicts share with their group the details of their behavior and the consequences from it. This is done as a tool to illustrate fully the powerlessness the addict has over his or her behavior and the unmanageably of life as an addict. These presentations can last anywhere from 10 minutes to most of the scheduled meeting time, depending upon the group and individual circumstances.

During recovery from a slip - Some people working through the process of recovery from sex addiction find that it is helpful to return to the First Step to sex addiction recovery after slipping up and engaging in behavior associated with their sex addiction. Generally this involves admitting the slip to the group, acknowledging powerlessness over the addiction, and focusing on the details of what might have led to the slip in the first place.

After the initial First Step, using one or more of the methods above, the addict will likely revisit this admission of powerlessness many times throughout recovery. It is important that the addict remember daily his or her inability to manage sex addiction; not doing so runs the risk of the addict becoming self-deceived and believing that he or she is able to manage this disease alone.

 

 

Causes and Treatment of Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile Dysfunction

It refers to the inability of a male to sustain erection consistently and repeatedly. It is a common problem and is reported that it affects around 18-30 million men. It exerts considerable effects on the quality of life. Most of the time people are reluctant to talk about it to others even to doctors. This is why it is important to address this problem openly.

What are the mechanics of erectile dysfunction?

The penis contains two cylinder-shaped chambers called corpora cavernosa which runs along the length of the penis. They contain arteries which bring the blood to the penis and veins which take the blood away from the penis. When there is sexual stimulation either physically or mentally our brain sends a message to the nerves in the penis to cause the relaxation of the penile arteries. This increases the blood flow to the penis making it stiff and hard, thus achieving erection.There is simultaneous contraction of specialized muscles located in the penis which compresses the veins and reduces the outflow of blood from the penis thereby helping to sustain erection.
This is clear now that anything that interferes with the either nerve impulses anywhere from the brain down to the penis or anything that limits the blood flow to the penis can result in erectile dysfunction.

Causes of Erectile Dysfunction

Most of the people consider it as a psychological problem. However it is not the case. Although psychological factors are involved in the causation of ED but mostly we do have any underlying physical cause of ED.

Physical Conditions Leading To ED

1. Vascular diseases

We understand that it is the increased blood flow to the penis that helps us achieve erection. Thus any vascular diseases which impair the blood flow to the penis will make it difficult to get erection. They include atherosclerosis, high blood pressure and increased levels of cholesterols.

2. Diabetes

Males suffering from diabetes mellitus usually experience erectile dysfunction at some point of life particularly when they don't have an optimum sugar control. The erectile dysfunction associated with diabetes is attributed to damage to blood vessels as well as nerves.

3. Neurologic Disorder

For adequate erection we require proper functioning of our nerves as well as brain. This is why any disorder that interferes with the functions of brain or nerves can cause erectile dysfunction. They include conditions such as Stroke Multiple sclerosis and Alzheimer's disease.

4. Lifestyle

There are some lifestyle choices which can increase the risk of erectile dysfunction. They include smoking, drinking and drug abuse. The do so by interfering with the blood supply of the penis.

5. Trauma

Trauma to the blood vessels and nerve supplying the penis can also cause erectile dysfunction. The importance of trauma as a cause of erectile dysfunction has been implicated in people who have been riding bicycle for longer period of times. This is because bicycle seat can put constant pressure on the vessels and nerves supplying the penis thereby damaging them and resulting in erectile dysfunction.

6. Medications

There are certain drugs that can cause erectile dysfunction. They include medications used to lower blood pressure and also some antidepressant. The irony is depression and high blood pressure are some of the causes of erectile dysfunction and the drugs you are using to treat these conditions also cause erectile dysfunction. This is why it is important for you to talk to you doctor if you are on any medications and you start having problems with the erection.

7. Surgery

Mostly older people above the age of 50 have problems with erection. This is the age when people also present with enlargement of the prostate and even with prostate cancer. They require surgeries for these conditions and during surgery the nerves supplying the penis might be damaged resulting in erectile dysfunction.

Psychiatric Conditions Leading To ED

The brain is involved in achieving erection as well as pleasure and excitement associated with sex so any problem that interferes with functioning of brain can cause ED. Psychiatric conditions are responsible for only about 10-15%of the cases of ED. They include
• Stress
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Low-self esteem

How to Treat Erectile Dysfunction?

1. Lifestyle changes

There are certain life style changes which can help in the improvement of sexual function. They include cessation of smoking, exercise and weight loss.

2. Medications

There is this famous drug called sildenafil which is well known as Viagra. It is not the only drug, rather there is a whole class of drugs called phosphodiestrase inhibitors. The other important medications included in this group are Vardenafil ( Levita, Stxyn), Tadalafil (Cialis) and Avanafil (Stendra)

3. Vacuum Pumps

They are specialized devices containing a cylinder and a pump. The penis is placed in the cylinder and pump is used to draw the air out of the pump creating a cylinder. This increases the blood flow to the penis. In order to maintain the erection an elastic band is worn around the base of penis.

4. Surgery

If the erectile dysfunction is due to blockage of the artery supplying the penis especially in younger patients we can surgically restore that blood flow. The other things we can do surgically is place an implant in there. This implant is filled with the pressurized fluid whenever erection is required.

5. Psychotherapy

Erectile dysfunction is a complex problem to deal with. Therefore it is important for you to realize that you have to involve your partner and talk to a doctor if you want to get out of this troublesome situation. The other important issue to keep in mind is to avoid any self-medication at all as it might have lethal outcome.

Learning to Adjust to Life Following a Stroke

Statistics indicate that strokes are often life-altering. Sadly, fifteen percent will die, twenty-five percent will recover with only minor impairment and ten percent will almost completely recover. But the rest, fifty percent, will require some type of care.

There are huge challenges in adjusting to the effects of a stroke. There will likely be fear, apprehension, uncertainty and usually life changes. It will be important for the stroke sufferer to gain some control over his/her life and to work towards independence. They will need to work diligently to improve their emotional and physical well-being by thinking positively. It will be important for them to remain positive as expectations, by necessity, will be altered.

Adaptations will have to be made to overcome limitations. Practicing daily will be necessary as continual effort will have a cumulative effect on their abilities. It will be important to set goals, to do things they enjoy, to be social and to try new things. It will be important also to accept the many changes in their life and to adjust to how their stroke affects other people. It will be natural to initially fear the future because strokes affect the body, mind and emotions.

Following a stroke there may be some paralysis, weakness in the limbs, difficulties with balance or language, pain or vague sensations of feeling in their body, cognitive and memory problems, feelings of frustration, feeling a sense of loss, difficulties with bowel or bladder control, fatigue, trouble swallowing or difficulty maintaining their hygiene. There may also be depression. It will be important to seek help if depression is suspected.

In some cases brain cells may be only temporarily damaged. In other cases, different areas of the brain will take over from the damaged areas. Rehabilitation will play a large part in helping the stroke patient. Goal setting will also be important. And as with everything, a proper diet is necessary.

It will be important for either the stroke-impaired person or his/her caregiver to ask questions regarding their care, to allow him/her to express their wishes and opinions and to be made a partner in their own health care. It will be important to keep them informed and to encourage them to join a stroke support group.

Special equipment may also be required following a stroke, i.e.: a cane, walker, wheelchair, orthotic devices or communication aids. There are also services available such as meals on wheels and transportation services.

Adjusting to the effects of a stroke will be different for each stroke survivor because like every brain injury, each stroke is different also. A lot will depend on the attitude of the survivor and how hard he/she is willing to work at rehabilitation. It will also depend on the severity of the stroke and where it was. Whether there is a family member and/or caregiver available to assist with follow-up care and rehabilitation will make a difference too in both physical recovery and a positive attitude.

What To Do For Panic Attacks

Have you ever wondered why you are prone to having Panic Attacks? Suddenly the intensity of fear increases causing you to have unwanted and uncontrollable emotional and physical sensation. You feel like you can't escape the thoughts of death and other negative emotions. You feel a numb sensation all over your body as well as nausea that makes you feel like you are about to faint.

Panic attacks have a debilitating effect on a person and the scenario explained above becomes part of your daily life. It feels as if you are having a heart attack or a nervous breakdown. Your inability to take control of your thoughts and emotions causes this phenomenon.

According to DSM-IV (Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders), "The essential feature of a Panic Attack is a discrete period of intense fear or discomfort that is accompanied by at least 4 of 13 somatic or cognitive symptoms". "The attack has a sudden onset and builds to a peak rapidly (usually in 10 minutes or less)."
The 13 somatic or cognitive symptoms of Panic Attacks are as follows:

• Palpitation
• Sweating
• Trembling or shaking
• Shortness of breath or smothering
• Feeling of choking
• Chest pain or discomfort
• Nausea or abdominal distress
• Feeling dizzy or lightheaded
• Feelings of unreality or depersonalization
• Fear of losing control or going crazy
• Fear of dying
• Numbness or tingling sensations
• Chills or hot flashes

If left untreated, anxiety can lead to many psychological disorders. There are three characteristics types of Panic Attacks with different relationships between the onset of the panic attack and the presence or absence of situational triggers:

• Unexpected (i.e., occurring spontaneously "out of the blue")
• Situationally bound (e.g., seeing a snake or a dog always triggers an immediate panic)
• Situationally predisposed (e.g., attacks are more likely to occur while driving).

The attacks can start anywhere and anytime, and it could have an undesirable impact on your reputation and/or self-image. You can stop Panic and Anxiety from affecting your well-being and quality of life. There are many techniques and resources that teach you how to deal with these situations.

The Internet is one of the best sources to gain information and increase your knowledge of what to do when you have an attack. Many people experience feelings of panic due to challenge that every day life presents us with. People get tired, stressed, and can lose ability to cope with certain situations which can easily trigger Panic Attacks and Anxiety. You need to get yourself familiar with various treatments for these Panic Disorders. Do a search on the Internet, and you will find a ton of resources that will help you finally cure your Panic Disorders. There are many natural techniques such as:

• Breathing exercises
• Yoga
• Herbal Remedies
• Relaxation therapy
• Cognitive behavioral techniques

As we mentioned, Panic Disorders can cause serious health problems, you need to arm yourself with as much information and knowledge as possible on how to deal and overcome them. Since the symptoms of these attacks, as well as dealing with this disorder is a huge challenge. We would like to provide you with the much-needed support. There are certain assessments and diagnostics that you can use to assess your Panic Disorder. Improve your quality of life by learning to deal with this debilitating disorder!

A Friend Who Helped Me Stop The Cycle Of Fear And Anxiety

It's amazing what my vitamin cabinet looked like after a while, I was a pill addict and there was no stopping me either. What had I become due to this anxiety disorder I thought to myself? How much money had I wasted on all of this stuff, as well as online miracle techniques that just just kept me coping with my panic and anxiety? It was sad to see, but in my mind back then I knew the instant cure was out there and knew my odds of potentially overcoming my panic and anxiety would increase if I tried everything on the market (not true as I found out the hard way). I learned that any kind of pill, whether they are herbs or prescribed medicine for anxiety, should never be thought of as a replacement for changing the daily habits that are creating negative experiences in our mental and physical well-being. In fact, the best thing anyone did for me during my search for a cure to my panic attacks and anxiety was what my best friend Mike did one day when I invited him over for a movie night.

Mike and I had known each other for just over ten years, and he has been there for me whenever I needed him. He was one of a handful of people I could possibly open up to that would understand what I was going through but I didn't. I kept my issues with panic and anxiety away from my closest friends and family due to the fear of them distancing themselves from me, thinking that maybe I was crazy or something. That day that Mike came over, he was confused on why I was drinking tea rather than sharing a beer with him (anxiety and beer just didn't mix for me). He had also noticed a lack of motivation and joy I had over the past few months in life in general, which of course was dragging him down as well. As he left the living room to grab another beer, he noticed my cabinet full of vitamins, herbs, prescriptions, and more.

 He started asking questions about them, and I started to explain to him that I was suffering from an anxiety disorder and how it was ruining my life in general. At that point, Mike grabbed a large garbage bag and dumped everything in the cabinet into it "what are you doing" I yelled at him, I couldn't believe what he was doing, I was speechless. Mike was an upfront guy and someone I always looked up to because of his outgoing personality that people were attracted to. He was someone who made you feel good inside and people wanted to be around him. He said to me that from that day on I was allowed only one herbal supplement and one vitamin supplement. He was a physiotherapist and was actually quite knowledgable about anxiety disorders for some reason and had a decent idea of what was best for me, so he recommended a B complex combined with Kava Kava and that was it. He also showed me a road map of what I needed to change in my lifestyle habits to increase calmness and decrease stress.

I was grateful to Mike for keeping it simple, and was glad I had someone who I could turn to if I needed and it felt great. We all think that overcoming panic and anxiety naturally is scary, an unknown world that could cost us much time, effort, potentially money and pain. But the natural path ahead to create change is not as bad as you might think. If you suffer from an anxiety disorder it's time to have an open mind and do your research, it's time to see what naturally has worked for others, and it's also time to see what this anxiety disorder is costing you in the many aspects of your life and take action because this is the fuel that you will need during those days you experience setbacks, and yes setbacks are a part of recovery which then leads me to the key ingredient on your recovery from anxiety... patience.

Prescription Drug Abuse And Over Doses In California

It is a prevalent fact that the prescription drug abuse has grown among all segments of population, even, it is common among high school students. It is estimated that in the U.S alone there are more than 15 million people abuse prescription drugs. The largest percentages of deaths are caused from drug overdosing. Mainly depressants, opioids, cocaine, heroin, methamphetamine, amphetamines and antidepressants are responsible for more overdose deaths. Even in California the overdose death is mainly due to prescription medications. It has been estimated that since 1999 the percentage of death has been increased by 31% due to this. It seems to be really epidemic. Research into the root causes of this has shown that problem has been existed over the course of many years. One of the reasons includes that the aggressive drug companies are making immense profits out of this. The second reason includes that the doctors are trying to control the unbearable pain of the patients mainly by giving overdoses.

There is a database that keeps and tracks the names of the physicians who tend to overprescribe medicines. This would be really helpful to identify those folks who give drug prescriptions unnecessarily. There is an active prescription monitoring program named CURES that meant for certain controlled substances, it does not require mandatory use by its prescribers, the report says. California, the state also don't have any law stating a pharmacist to permit identification prior to dispensing a controlled substance.

California Gov. Jerry Brown signed two bills aiming to curb prescription-drug abuse.The first bill SB 670 allows the state medical board to inspect and copy medical records of dead patients without any court order. The second bill SB 809 increases practitioners' licensing fees in order to support the renovation of the CURES database that too some doctors consider it complex. Here are some guidelines on how to prevent overdose:

• The patients themselves should take some precautions not to take overdoses: for this reason, they should read the labels and ensure that they take right medications.
• Follow the instructions correctly, take the medication appropriately only when it is required and don't overdo it or else it would bring only harm to you.
• Keep checking your medication for expiry dates and don't use the medications that have crossed the expiry date.
• Don't take any medication without any medical supervision; also do not take other people's medication. This is because each person's body is different and may react differently.
• Older people tend to suffer from memory lapses; they might overdose on their medications. Hence, it would be wise to write it down the name and dosage of the medications.

10 Common Questions Men Have About Sex Addiction

1. Question: Am I a sex addict?

Answer: There are a number of red flags that can signal an addiction to sex. A person who uses sexual activity be it intercourse, viewing pornography, phone sex, chat rooms, prostitution or masturbation as a numbing agent, something to prevent them from feeling bad, may have a sex addiction. Other indicators the sexual behavior is causing the addict problems include their spouse becoming upset over their behavior or they've gone into debt over payment for phone sex lines or Internet pornography sites. Spending an excessive amount of time viewing pornography Over 10 hours a week is another red flag, since this sexual behavior is interfering with time spent with friends, family or at work.

Another key factor is the addict has tried to stop engaging in sexual behavior but failed. When all these things come together, it's time to ask a professional about getting help.

2. Question: Can I be cured?

Answer: Many sex addicts have reported being able to bring their sexual behavior under control, through any one of a variety of treatment methods. Some attend intensive rehabilitation facilities; others go to therapy sessions, attend 12 step meetings or use medication and a host of other techniques to control their sexual behavior. This can include finding a trusted person to act as an "accountability partner." Or for pornography addicts, it can mean the use of pornography blocking computer programs.
3. Question: Does being cured mean I give up sex?
Answer: No. Unlike chemical dependencies related to alcohol or drugs, sex is recognized as a healthy aspect of life. Treatment for sex addiction, while it does involve a period of abstinence, seeks to bring harmful and unwanted troublesome sexual activity under control to where it is no longer causing harm. It may lead to stopping viewing pornography, discontinuing solicitation of prostitutes and other "bottom line" behaviors or even illegal activities. The goal is stopping harmful behavior, but certainly not giving up sex.

4. Question: Is sex addiction even real, or just something people use to excuse their behavior?

Answer: Truth be told, there are some experts who don't feel sex addiction is real and say it's more a product of conflicting social norms and mores. Other say sex addiction exists but do not feel it meets the definition of an addiction in the same way addiction to alcohol or drugs does. For a sex addict seeking treatment, it may be a moot point. To get treatment, first one has to recognize they have a problem and stop trying to use their own willpower alone to control it. Many people have sought treatment for sex addiction and reported results. Much of the criticism about its validity has been aimed at celebrities embroiled in public sex scandals and is hardly analogous to the average person not living in the public eye. Sex addiction is real and one struggling with unwanted sexual behaviors certainly can attest to that fact.

5. Question: What caused this? How did I get to be this way?

Answer: There is no definitive cause for sex addiction, and for each person it will be different. Many sex addicts report being sexually abused at a young age and growing up with a distorted view of sex and what a healthy sex life should be. For others, it is simply the rush of chemicals in their brain after discovering a parent's pornography stash or coming across it in some other fashion. Still others indicate the accessibility of Internet pornography had them fall into a cycle, while there are those who turned to using sex as a numbing agent during a difficult period in their lives and began relying on it as a coping mechanism. For some growing up with abuse, neglect, abandonment and enmeshment have cause the to seek out other ways to feel good about life and themselves.

While knowing the cause of sex addiction is important, those on the path to recovery should not seek to dwell on the unchangeable past; instead, they need to focus on their present actions.

6. Question: Does viewing pornography and sexual interaction over the Internet count as cheating on my spouse?

Answer: Not to be glib, but it can depend on the spouse. Certainly many women do feel that their spouses having cybersex or phone sex with another woman qualifies as infidelity. They may not react in the exact same way as if it had been physical sex with another woman, but the impact on a relationship can be dire. First, the wife will feel betrayed. She won't trust her husband if he's been hiding his behavior. She may can feel bad about herself, perhaps thinking some failing on her part led the husband to seek these sexual outlets.

Even pornography viewing can be a sore spot for women. Society places a lot of pressure on women to be physically attractive and sexually desirable and they may feel they are in competition with actresses in pornographic videos. This can affect their self-esteem, even if they do not confront their husband about the behavior.

7. Question: Can medication lower my sex drive so I don't have this problem.

Answer: Yes and no. There are medications out there that can lower a person's sex drive, and they are often used to treat sex addiction. However, they are limited in their power to erase the problem completely. Some form of therapy, be it a 12 step program or other process, is required.

8. Question: Will I ever be cured or is this a lifelong problem?

Answer: Many people report being able to bring their sexual behaviors under control, sometimes after a period of months or years, and are living lives relatively free of problems related to sex addiction. These people have addressed the factors in their life they had once sought to control by using sex; they have now embedded into their lives multiple tools to avoid falling back into destructive addiction cycles. For some, there is always the fear they will relapse, and some do struggle with sex addiction for long periods of time. There is no quick fix for the problem.

9. Question: I'm also addicted to alcohol. Is my sex addiction just a sign that I'm susceptible to addictive behaviors in general?

Answer: In some ways, yes. Many sex addicts report being addicted to alcohol, drugs, or behaviors such as gambling. They also claim family members with various addictions. It's certainly been theorized that a person can have a genetic predisposition to addictive behaviors. As to treating multiple addictions, it should be noted that many sex addiction treatment programs are modeled after alcohol treatment techniques developed by Alcoholics Anonymous. 12 step programs such as Sexaholics Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous model their programs after and borrow their literature from that organization.

10. Question: Am I really a sex addict or is my sex drive just naturally high?

Answer: The difference between a sex addict and a person who enjoys a lot of sex has to do with why the behavior is being sought and the inability to stop an unwanted behavior as well as the obsession and compulsion. A person with a high sex drive is aroused and in most cases can control acting on that arousal. A sex addict is engaging in sex as a coping mechanism, isolating themselves from others even if they have a real life partner for the sex, and engaging in the sex act compulsively. They may feel shame after they complete the act, or some general feelings of depression. Actual arousal is not the primary motivator.

Natural Healing for Panic Attacks Using Effective Techniques at Home

We are not forced to live with panic attacks. You know how devastating anxiety can be, and the potential to hold you back. That's why healing anxiety is so important. Medication is not a good solution and therapy is expensive determining people to look for other options.There is no such thing as a rapid cure for anxiety, which is why many people turn to natural healing for panic at home.

Anxiety can become a greater health concern when the symptoms are excessive and persistent, when they cause emotional distress or interfere with normal activities of daily living. A panic attack is an intense level of anxiety - a sudden, intense panic, fear and dread with shortness of breath, excessive sweating, rapid heartbeat and/or a feeling of death. It comes on quickly and without any clear reason why. The feeling of panic can seem out of control or even as if you've gone "crazy." Fortunately, using a natural healing for panic method, you can combat those symptoms.

Feeling out of control is the most awful thing about panic attacks. Often we tend to worry a lot - which of course, just makes things worse. When will the next one come? How I will react to it? And the road to another one is open. You often feel that there is something wrong with you. You feel like you can't get on with your life. The reality is that you are not the only one who suffer of panic attacks. So just knowing that you're not alone, it's often a great help, but that is only a first step to natural healing for panic.

Coping with particularly stressful situations in our day to day lives, is, usually what triggers the first panic attack in a person. Our subconscious mind overreact to a potential threat, trying to protect us. It doesn't recognize the difference between a build up of daily stress and a life or death situation, thus activating our defense system. And once you had a panic attack another one is more likely, as the mind reacts to "triggers" that remind them of the original attack. Your mind remembers that you were in a particular situation when the panic attack happened and links with the stress that's building for some time. Now that particular situation has become a "trigger" for the next attack. Instead of trying to fight with the panic attack, use a natural healing for panic method. What I mean is, you have to become an observer of your feelings. You don't have to "fight", because you're not actually in danger.

You never was. You may think, feel or act like that, but the so call danger is just in your head. In reality nothing happens. It is just your mind who thinks so. Using observation is very important because it engages your rational mind. By doing so, your emotional mind cannot dominate your rational thinking. The rational mind will start to give you good reasons and motifs and so on about why you're safe and OK. What happens next, is that the panic attack symptoms will start to fade away and your whole body will calm down. This technique allows you to overcome the panic attack quickly and naturally. As soon as you do this, your chances of another attack are immediately reduced or even stopped, because you know that you can control them, simply by just observing your feelings.

I hope that you find this useful. This powerful technique along with many others can help you Heal Panic Naturally and live a life of freedom and peace too.

What To Do When Discovering Your Partner Has A Sex Addiction

Sex Addiction IS a disease!

Sex addiction is a disease and it is crucial to understand it as such. Sex addicts struggle just as much as alcoholics and drug addicts do; their addiction is just different. Once you understand this addiction in terms of being a disease, it becomes easier to learn about it effectively.

We highly recommend you do some extensive reading. It will help you to better understand the disease of sex addiction from an outside perspective. There are many helpful articles, videos and webinars online, as well as published books, reports and pamphlets.

There are some books that you should read in order to reach a better understanding of the problem. Patrick Carnes' Don't Call It Love: Recovery from Sexual Addiction is universally acclaimed and praised for being the capstone of all books on sex addiction. In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior by Patrick Carnes, David Delmonico, Elizabeth Griffin, and Joseph Moriarty is an especially great pick if the addict in your life indulges in online behaviors, ranging from porn to sex chat rooms and anything in between. Jennifer Schneider and Robert Weiss' Cybersex Exposed: Simple Fantasy or Obsession is another good choice if your partner indulges in sexually compulsive behaviors online.

Your first instinct may be to confront your partner, whether angrily or kindly. Step back for a moment and realize your attempts to talk right now, however good your intentions may be, might be interpreted as an attack. Your partner may not even realize their addiction yet, and your confrontation may be confusing and difficult to respond to. You will have time to talk later, but right now it is best to concentrate on understanding where you should go from here.

You may want to start gathering resources for when you decide to talk to your partner or when he or she realizes there is a real problem. Start by going to your county's mental health agency and finding out their resources for sex addicts. Find Twelve-Step programs and support groups in the area as well as search for online meetings, phone meetings and other resources. Keep this information, as you may need it later when your partner decides to get help. Don't push it on him or her, but offer it up if the search for help looks confusing and overwhelming.

If you feel that you need it, it may be a good idea to seek help for yourself in the form of a therapist or a support group. You don't have to do this alone. And you do not have to wait for your partner to get help before seeking therapy or treatment for yourself to deal with your own feelings.

Is Meditation Helpful During Recovery From Sex Addiction?

Many individuals who have successfully maintained long-term sobriety from sex addiction acknowledge their recovery is helped by the practice of daily meditation. If you would like to add this practice to your program of recovery from sex addiction, the information in this article will give you some basics to get started.

There are many different forms of meditation and, as with prayer, you are free to choose a practice that you are most comfortable with. You may find using a meditative practice from an established tradition suits your personal style, or you may prefer to create a method of your own to help you in your recovery from sex addiction.

Meditation is an opportunity to set aside the hectic activity and demands of daily life. It is a chance to turn your thoughts from the work and difficulty you may experience on your journey in recovery from sex addiction and to enjoy a period of calmness. While you may not feel any different during the time you set aside to meditate, you will find after some time, that the effects of this practice are more apparent in your day to day life. You might find you are able to respond to sex addiction triggers or difficult situations with a new level of calmness. You may find that you begin to think clearer and come to value yourself and your abilities in a new way.

If you choose to apply this effective practice to your recovery from sex addiction program, you'll probably have quite a few questions in the beginning. You might find it helpful to discuss meditation with other people that are sober from sex addiction and find out what has helped them maintain their sobriety. While meditation may be uncomfortable in the beginning, stick with it.

Meditation can take place anywhere. You may want to dedicate a particular room or seat in your house to the practice, or perhaps you would be more comfortable outside by a river or in a field. The classic meditation posture is to sit with legs folded and hands on the lap or knees, but whatever makes you the most comfortable is completely acceptable. You may find it helpful to keep your eyes open, leaving all of your senses open, or you may close your eyes, find what's best for you.

The goal of meditation is not to fall asleep but to be in a state of relaxed alertness. For most practices, you will want to keep your eyes open but unfocused on anything in particular. Many people in recovery from sex addiction find it most helpful to set aside a specific time each day to meditate.
To get you started, here are a few basic types of meditation practices. Choose which one of these works best for you and start slowly. Remember, any effort you make toward meditation will support your recovery from sex addiction.

Guided Meditation

Guided meditation is a technique that helps you to focus on and direct your imagination toward a conscious goal. While there are CDs and tapes available to assist with guided meditation, it is also possible to do yourself. Take time to imagine yourself free of sex addiction and living in healthy sexuality. Take the time and make a special place for your meditation practice and let others know you'll be meditating for a period of time and please not interrupt you.

Focus On Your Breath

This form of meditation is the most widely known. Exhale strongly a few times to start and then, once you begin, focus on your breathing alone. If your mind drifts, especially to thoughts of sex addiction, gently bring it back to the sensation of breathing in and of breathing out. It helps to just start by focusing on your in breath, breath in slowly and feel the oxygen filling up your lungs, counting as you inhale and then holding the breath for a second or two and then exhaling slowly with the goal of your exhale, twice as long as your inhale. So if you inhale for 6 seconds, you'd want to exhale for 12 seconds and repeat this a few times until you decide on how many times you want to practice.
 
Observe an Object

Allow your mind to rest on a particular object. This might be an image of your Higher Power or any other object that has meaning for you, and is not related to you sex addiction. It could simply be a spot on the wall, a tree, rock or any object to keep your attention fixed and not wandering.

Recite a Mantra

For this practice, choose a mantra that holds meaning for you within your understanding of God. You might wish to recite the rosary. Perhaps you'd prefer to recite the Serenity Prayer, a common prayer for those in recovery from sex addiction. You can simply ask your Higher Power for calmness, peace, serenity, or one I like to use from John Gray, "God, Higher Power, my heart is open to you, please come sit in my heart" Speak quietly and pay complete attention to the words you are saying and the breaths you are using.

Adding the practice of meditation into your daily life will help to keep you balanced throughout all of the ups and downs that life brings, both inside of your recovery from sex addiction and without. Begin with a few minutes a day and see if you can work your way up to a 20 minute period of meditation. You may soon begin to look forward to, and long for, this period of quiet and clarity away from your recovery from sex addiction.

Shape Your Life

Social Community

We all need a Social Community. As much as we would like to admit that we are strong and could get along fine without a social community that simply isn't so. Having a forum to speak your ideas and thoughts is vital to your health. We know that isolation often leads to depression. Depression often leads to physical illness and can lead to self destructive behavior, including suicide.

Depression: n. Psychol. An emotional state of mind characterized by feelings of gloom and inadequacy, leading to withdrawal. Depression is a mental state of excessive sadness characterized by persistently low mood, loss of pleasure and interest.

Social communities, be it friends, families or traditional support groups, enhance our lives. For those who feel the need to communicate about a specific problem, support groups can be a means of healing. Often those who are going through similar problems feel great strength in numbers. The reason being is that it helps to know that you are not the only one suffering. It is also a place where you can get first hand knowledge about your problem or issue.

 Support groups also give you an opportunity to give back. Find and embrace a support group. They are everywhere and they are for everything from AIDS to cancer to divorce or simple self improvement. Having a community who can identify with your illness and pain will give you that sense that you are not alone. It also affords you the opportunity to gain experience from the other members in the group (such as surgery/surgeons, medicine and health professional). Support groups are great for giving and receiving information and support.

"It is in giving that we receive".

As we give of our self, we gain power over our own life (or situation). This is because we lose focus on our own problem and concentrate on someone else's. Something miraculous happens when we give of ourselves. If you want to feel better, try giving more. This is one of the most universal truths there is. Your perception and attitude seem to shape your life.

Love Yourself

Loving your self starts with a healthy thought pattern. Knowing who you are and what you will allow in your life says a lot about self love. Studies suggest that eighty percent of what we are today is a result of what we learned between the ages of 8-12. Most of what we want to change can be traced back to our self image. At birth we have no self image.

 As we grow we respond to our environment. We learn what feels good and bad, our senses start to form. Our minds begin to take in the words we hear over and over again. Repetition is vital at this age. What are the words we are hearing? Are they directed at us or others? Are we learning to be honest and whole or are we learning to build a defense mechanism? This is where your self image is created.

As we grow older we take on certain personality traits. We just do not decide to be one way or another. We learn them. We are a product of our environment and our genetics. We can not do anything about our genes, but we can do something about what we picked up along the way. What we decided to own as our own. What to believe and how to act. This is so important to understand. You need to realize that what you are today and how you think today is really what you were taught as a child. So, what does that exactly have to do with change? First, you need only to ask yourself why you want change. You want change because how you feel does not feel right. It does not feel right because you probably are working with a thought pattern that is not your own. And if that is not your thought pattern, then questions of who you are will soon follow.

Your self image and self worth are really all you have. If you do not believe in yourself, then all that surrounds you and all that you have are only possessions that define you. Most of what we want to change can be traced back to our self image. You are not your possessions. You are your thoughts.

Your thoughts make you. Knowing how you want to live and what you want to have is your process, not your person. Start today and ask yourself questions like, "what will really make me happy," and, "who am I". Often when I teach a course and I ask the students who they are. I hear things like I am, and then they say their job. I point out that they are not their job. That is what they do. Who you are is your essence. And it will be totally different for every person in that room. And it should be. You are your thoughts. So when you want to create change, be sure you know what you want. The old saying, be careful of what you ask for, is so true. Material possessions are nice, but unless you are happy with yourself, then they will only bring short term happiness.

First Responders, Secondary Trauma and Suicide

I have spent my adult life as a responder, a fixer. People call us because they are sick, hurt, bored and sometimes even in real trouble. I have received a great deal of training and education learning how to help people. In all of that training no one ever taught me anything about how to help myself or take care of myself.

It turns out that the career field I chose - firefighter, paramedic, rescuer can have a significant impact. Not just a physical impact, although I have had my share of that. I am speaking about emotional and psychological impact.

First Responder suicides are on the rise. I am going to a funeral today for a brother firefighter that took his life. To have an understanding of this subject we have to understand some terminology:

• Secondary Trauma (ST) is defined as "the stress resulting from helping or wanting to help a traumatized or suffering person". That definition is OK. It is not enough of an explanation. Secondary trauma is what you suffer by being a part of someone else's trauma. A person can only take so much of that suffering (theirs and yours) and it begins to take a toll. Especially if you are not aware of the impact ST has and you are not prepared with tools to cope.

• Vicarious Trauma (VT) is defined as "bearing witness to another's trauma". Very similar to secondary trauma. Many people use these terms interchangeably. In My Opinion secondary trauma is more applicable when you are participating in an event but you are not a victim. i.e. a paramedic caring for a dying child. Vicarious trauma would apply more to someone that was aware of or present for the trauma. This is my definition and not from the Diagnostic & Statistics Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).

• Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is defined as:

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) will be included in a new chapter in DSM-5 on Trauma- and Stress­or-Related Disorders. This move from DSM-IV, which addressed PTSD as an anxiety disorder, is among several changes approved for this condition that is increasingly at the center of public as well as profes­sional discussion.

The diagnostic criteria for the manual's next edition identify the trigger to PTSD as exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury or sexual violation. The exposure must result from one or more of the following scenarios, in which the individual:

• Directly experiences the traumatic event
• Witnesses the traumatic event in person
• Learns that the traumatic event occurred to a close family member or close friend (with the actual or threatened death being either violent or accidental)
• Experiences first-hand repeated or extreme exposure to the details of the traumatic event (not through media, pictures, television or movies unless work-related)
The disturbance, regardless of its trigger, causes clinically significant distress or impairment in the indi­vidual's social interactions, capacity to work or other important areas of functioning. It is not the physi­ological result of another medical condition, medication, drugs or alcohol.

As you just read the definition does not require that you are a victim of a significant or a horrific event. Just being a witness can have serious consequences. As a First Responder you are more than a witness. We become active participants. Even when there is a good outcome your personal stability cab be seriously impacted. Believe me. I know.

How can you tell if you are suffering from Secondary Trauma? Here are some things that you should be aware of:

· Sleep disturbance (I spent the better part of six years not sleeping)
· Drug and/or alcohol use and abuse

o You don't have to be a heroin addict prescription drugs work just fine

o Drinking is just something we did (and still do) to deal with bad calls, loss of friends etc.

· Relationship troubles
· Isolation

o When you don't want to do anything or be with anyone

· Anger
· Intrusive thoughts
· Chronic fatigue
· Sadness
· Poor concentration
· Second guessing
· Detachment
· Emotional exhaustion
· Fearfulness
· Shame
· Physical illness
· Absenteeism

For a First Responder Secondary Trauma is inevitable. We need to spread the word and increase awareness. Even though secondary trauma is inevitable it need not be fatal. Indeed it is possible to live with secondary trauma. It is absolutely critical that we learn to live with our trauma.

Using the Three Circle System In Recovery From Sex Addiction

The Three Circles is a tool designed by the twelve-step organization Sex Addict's Anonymous (SAA) that is used to define sexual sobriety, establish boundaries, and organize behaviors according to whether they are addictive, healthy, or somewhere in between. You may find that this tool proves helpful to you during your own recovery from sex addiction.

Draw three circles, one around the other. When you are finished you should have an inner circle, middle circle, and outer circle (it should look something like a bullseye). The descriptions below will help you to understand which behaviors should go in which circle, and why.

The Inner Circle

In the Inner Circle you will write all of your compulsive sexual behaviors related to your sex addiction. The behaviors that go in this circle are those that you are choosing to abstain from entirely. These are behaviors that you are powerless over, actions that lead to negative consequences, pain, and suffering. These behaviors of sex addiction make you a danger to yourself and to others.

You might find that your Inner Circle includes things such as: exhibitionism, voyeurism, anonymous sex, prostitution, phone sex, child sexual abuse, incest, or any other type of behavior that is clearly and definitively associated with your sex addiction and which carries negative consequences for yourself or others. If you find yourself wondering which of your behaviors should to in the Inner Circle, ask yourself the following questions: are you unable to stop the behavior when you want to; do you keep this behavior a secret; if this behavior were to be revealed would there be negative consequences; do you use the behavior to avoid emotions or responsibilities; and is your behavior lacking in intimacy and respect for either yourself or others? If the answer to any of those questions is yes, you're likely dealing with an Inner Circle behavior of your sex addiction.

The Middle Circle

The behaviors that belong in the Middle Circle are those that are less destructive than those within the Inner Circle, those that do not quite fall into the category of unmanageable sex addiction but don't rise to the level of ideal behavior. You might think of the Middle Circle as the gray area. As you begin the initial process of recovery you can also put behaviors that you are uncertain about into the Middle Circle.

The Middle Circle is generally made up of behaviors that will eventually cause a slip if engaged in for too long or too often. As you progress in your healing you will very likely begin to understand that behaviors that initially were placed in the Middle Circle actually belong in the Inner Circle. However, recovery from sex addiction is not an overnight process and you should tackle what you can as you can.

Some of the behaviors that might end up in your Middle Circle include: cruising for prostitutes or for a place to act out, acting seductively in an inappropriate situation, contacting former sexual partners, surfing the Internet late at night by yourself, spending time with young children, and anything else that might bring about eventual triggers or a slip into your addictive behavior.

The Outer Circle

In the same way that you knew for certain that behaviors listed in the Inner Circle were compulsive, rooted in sex addiction, dangerous and destructive, behaviors that are listed in the Outer Circle are those that you know for certain will lead to increased success in your recovery and are to be encouraged and practiced freely. The Outer Circle is made up of behaviors that you choose because they enhance your life, your recovery, and your spirituality. In contrast to Inner Circle behaviors, which serve to keep you isolated in your sex addiction, the Outer Circle list will help keep you engaged with community and reality. These behaviors also lead to self confidence and inner peace.

Your list of Outer Circle behaviors, those that benefit your recovery from sex addiction, might include working a twelve-step program, attending group meetings, engaging in sexual activity within a committed relationship, a new hobby or sport, developing non-sexual friendships, or exercise and meditation.

It isn't necessary for you to have your three circles perfectly worked out. This will be an ongoing process. As you learn more about yourself and your sex addiction, you will find that things shift and change. It is strongly recommended that you work with your sponsor, or with another sober sex addict, in developing your Three Circles. Remember that it is your isolated thinking and tendency toward self-deceit that kept you locked in your addiction. Working alone on these circles may give you a list that is either too lenient or overly strict. You may find that working your sobriety with a group or sponsor will bring the clarity you've been missing.

The Habit of Prayer During Recovery From Sex Addiction

As you go through the stages and steps of recovery from sex addiction, you may begin to add the habit of prayer into your life. Some people who are in recovery from sex addiction have grown up in churches or with the tradition of religion in their lives and families; others have no experience with God at all. Regardless of where you are coming from, it is recommended that you integrate prayer into your day-to-day life. Prayer can come from any tradition you are familiar with, be written by another person, be self-created, or simply be a conversation between you and the God of your own understanding.

As you begin your journey from sex addiction to healthy sexuality, you may have a difficult time building a relationship with your Higher Power. You might even find yourself actively resisting the idea of God at all. If this is true for you, you might begin your daily habit of prayer by praying for the willingness to have a Higher Power be a part of your life.

You may find that the daily habit of prayer can become more powerful if you first take the time to define God for yourself. For people in recovery from sex addiction who have not found a home in organized religion, or for those who do not come from a church background, this can be very important. If you are to turn your life over to something outside of yourself, it is helpful to find clarity on what that something is.

In most twelve step groups that focus on sex addiction God is defined simply as a power greater than yourself. It is up to you to choose what that means to you. You may choose to find your God in a traditional form, in the beauty and power of nature, or in something else entirely. Work to not become discouraged during the process of defining God as you understand God. Try to be open-minded. If this idea is proving difficult for you, speak with others at meetings or sex addiction support groups who are sober and appear to have a positive relationship with God.

Prayer provides a time for communing with the God of your understanding; it helps in building and strengthening the relationship between you and your Higher Power. There is no right or wrong way to pray, it is simply the act of prayer that is important. It is up to you to decide how you pray and what the content of those prayers is. You might pray for help in your recovery from sex addiction. You may want to pray in thankfulness for your life and for the well-being of those you care about. Very often you may find that you pray for guidance as you try to comprehend sex addiction and what you should and should not do.

Some people working through the steps of their recovery from sex addiction find that a specific time or place set aside for prayer can help keep them involved in the habit, as well as make the practice more real and personal. You may want to engage in prayer at a traditional house of worship, or a special place within your own home. If you schedule a time each day, however short or long you like, for prayer and meditation, you will have an easier time bringing this principle of prayer into your life.
A good place to start when you are considering prayer is with the well-known Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." This prayer is widely used and recited at most meetings of sex addiction support groups. For many it provides immediate comfort and brings alignment with their Higher Power. You might find it helpful to memorize and recite again and again during times of high anxiety, stress or insistent temptations, and triggers attached to your sex addiction.

The Serenity Prayer is especially helpful as it provides guidance when working to understand what the next right thing might be. If you are facing a particular challenge that you can't change, you can turn it over to your Higher Power. If you are looking at behaviors, especially those associated with your sex addiction, that you can change this prayer helps to invite action and courage. You may find that using the Serenity Prayer helps you to understand the differences between what you can and can't change and, in doing so, brings peace.

However you decide to implement prayer into your life, and whatever words you use, you will find that the practice brings peace and hope to an otherwise challenging journey through recovery from sex addiction.

What Is a Spiritual Approach to Recovery From Sex Addiction

Successful recovery from sex addiction can involve a many aspects from support groups to Twelve-Step programs to therapy and anything in between. Whichever path you decide to travel, your own spirituality will be incredibly important to your recovery process.

Spirituality can be loosely defined as your personal connection and feelings about a power greater than yourself and practicing self-awareness. Even if you don't believe in a higher power, you can still be a spiritual person. It's all about being in touch with yourself, your feelings, and your thoughts.
Spirituality is not necessarily connected to religion, but it differs from person to person.Like many things in life, spirituality is what you make of it and what you want it to be. If you associate your spirituality with your religious beles, that's okay. If you don't, that's okay too.

How can you use your spirituality to help defeat your sex addiction? The peace, serenity, tranquility and self-awareness resulting from a spiritual connection are helpful in keeping you on track as you travel your path to recovery. Relying on these skills alone will not bring you into recovery, but are helpful when things get rough and you feel like giving up.

If you consider yourself a spiritual person, you will likely benefit from Twelve-Step programs from recovery from sex addiction. Most Twelve-Step programs are deeply rooted in spirituality. In fact, the eleventh step is focused on forging a strong connection with whatever higher power you may believe in, and asking only for knowledge of your life's plan and the will to carry out that plan. Successfully attaining and completing this eleventh step results in a spiritual awakening, bringing a feeling of peace.

A strong spiritual connection can bring you calmness and peace during the difficult recovery process. For instance, meditation is a spiritual activity which provides a sense of calm and peacefulness. Many people meditate to calm themselves down and reconnect with their spiritual side. While meditating by itself won't bring you recovery from sex addiction, it is a useful tool for achieving a certain level of peace. Meditation will bring you some much needed "me time," and is useful for removing yourself from the hustle and bustle of daily life. Meditation has a positive effect on stress levels and is also a great option when you feel cravings for your addictive behavior.

Again, spirituality alone will not cure your addiction, but it is certainly a useful and comforting tool to have on your road to recovery from sex addiction. Combined with the power of therapy or a Twelve-Step program, a strong spiritual connection is indispensable on your road to recovery from sex addiction.

What Is H.A.L.T. In Recovery From Sex Addiction?

The acronym H.A.L.T. stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. This acronym was designed to remind those recovering from sex addiction to never find themselves too hungry, getting angry, being lonely, or being tired. These emotions are natural stresses, and stress brings on vulnerability.

Vulnerability tends to bring out the behaviors associated with your sex addiction. If you remember to take care of your body's basic needs, you can keep your system from going into emergency mode, where your thoughts become confused and you begin to believe the lie, that your addiction will provide you with the relief you need.

When you were active in your sex addiction, you most likely sped through life on the adrenaline that comes with addiction and lost touch with some of the basic natural feelings of your body. You may have lost touch with what it felt like to simply be tired or hungry, and be okay with it.

Many addicts, while they are acting out in their sex addiction, do not take the time for decent rest or food. Then, when you began taking steps towards recovery from sex addiction, there are the difficulties of withdrawal to deal with. Some have described this feeling as nervous energy that won't stop. You might have difficulty sleeping, or you might find yourself sleeping more than ever before. Whether it's years of acting out your sex addiction that have run you ragged, or the effects of withdrawal, it is important that you slow down and rest in your sobriety, and take good care of yourself.

While you were engaged in active addiction, you likely believed sex was the solution for all your troubles.

When your thoughts become cloudy, or your thinking becomes more difficult due to natural bodily responses, it can be easier to mistakenly believe that returning to your sex addiction is the only solution.

Remembering the H.A.L.T. tool can help you to stop and reflect upon what your body may be trying to tell you. You may be surprised to find that what your mind is telling you has nothing to do with addiction, and everything to do with taking care of the basic necessities of life.

Ask yourself if you're avoiding an unpleasant emotion? Have you gotten enough sleep? Have you been alone too often? Are you hungry, or did you forget to eat? Many times you will find that a good meal, some quality conversation, the opportunity to examine your feelings, or a good night's sleep is all that you need to regain your sense of serenity and commitment to your recovery from sex addiction.

Bored With Your Sex Life?

Put Spice Back into your Marriage with Tips to Help when the Sex Gets Boring
Are you bored with your marital sex life? What can you do about it?.

Q: Sometimes I feel sexually excited, but I don't always feel desire for my husband... In other words, I'd rather take things into my own hands. Does this mean there's something wrong or missing from our relationship?

A: Sure it's normal. It's more direct and easier to do it yourself, and there's nothing wrong with that. Keep in mind, however, that the easy route might not be the best route for your marriage. If you can direct that energy toward having sex with your husband, your marriage will benefit. Also, take a little time to think about whether anything is going on between you that's putting you off. It's better to talk about that directly than to avoid it and go off by yourself.

Q: My husband and I have been married for many years. Thankfully I have orgasms somewhat easily and consistently, but I don't always look forward to sex. Weeks can go by without me missing it. Is this bad?

A: It's normal in a long-term marriage for spontaneous sexuality to diminish and even disappear. Don't continue to expect sex to generate itself as your marriage becomes more familiar and comfortable. You need to begin generating the sexual energy with each other. Try creating a mood, making a way for the two of you to transition from daily chores and hassles to intimacy. You might want to cuddle on the couch or surprise him with a kiss. You both need a signal that tells your partner that it's time for sex.

Q: How can we make sex seem more romantic and less run-of-the mill? How can we recapture the passion we once had so many years ago?

A: The most important thing to do is to take the hassle out of it. Don't have high expectations for every sexual encounter. Develop a repertoire that includes:

1. Sex when you're tired.

2. Sex when you're rushed.

3. Sex when only one of you wants it.

Make it as easy as possible and get playful about it. If you can giggle and laugh together, you'll feel more connected. If you keep your sexual connection going, the big, romantic fantasy moments will happen every once in a while (an anniversary, while you're on vacation, and so on.) The key is to make it simple and easy to get together.

Q: If I fantasize about other men, does it mean something is wrong with my marriage? Should I tell my husband about my fantasies?

A: Fantasizing about other men is normal. Whether or not to tell your husband depends on your two personalities and preferences. Will he be intimidated and put off, or will he be excited about it? Sometimes fantasies can be used to enhance sex -- for example, a fantasy that he has stolen you from this other man could really get you both going.

Fake Friends

In today's society, it is rather important to have friends. Otherwise the world can be a big old lonely place. But how many of our friends are real or fake.Whether or not you realise it, we have all encountered fake friends. Maybe you yourself have once been a fake friend. Now we can't sit and shake our heads and deny it. It's true, fake friends come but they need to go.

How to spot a fake friend?

•Fake friends always (I mean always!) expect you to call, you to visit, you to make plans. While they sit around, not giving you a second thought. They don't even bother sending a text message, unless they need to use you. Fake friends expect you to be there when they need you but they won't be around when you need them. When you don't flower them with all the attention they crave, they have the capacity to ask you why you haven't called them. I believe friendships need efforts put in from both sides. If they don't think they should call you then you shouldn't call them as well.

•Fakes talk like rats behind your back. Has someone told you that your fake friend has been spreading rumours or has been saying nasty things about you? I recommend you believe whatever you heard. I believe you shouldn't share your darkest and deepest secrets with this person because I'm sure your secret will spread like fire from their mouth.

•Fakes always criticise your dreams and ambitions. A true friend will support you but a fake friend will try and talk you out of achieving your dreams. There are three reasons why they do this; Jealousy, Competition and Envy. They are always negative, always trying to bring you down and never reassuring you. Yet once you have achieved your dream, they will act like they were the one that pushed you and supported you all the way.

•Fakes disappear when something bad goes down. Once you and a fake friend go through something harsh together and suddenly you never hear from them again, don't even fret. Don't waste your thoughts on them; thank the world for not having that person around you anymore. Real friends stick together no matter what.

If you have a bad friend do your best to ignore them and walk away. You don't need friends, if fake is all they are, being lonely is so much better than being someone's joke. Real friends come in to our lives to give us company, to teach us things. A real friend will stick around no matter what you both go through; they will also help you go through those things together. A real friend will help you grow and become a better person and a real friend will always be there for you.

Fear and Causes of Depression

Causes of Depression

Have you ever wondered what causes depression? Perhaps you've received a diagnosis of depression and it made you wonder why some people get depressed while others do not.

Depression is a very complex disease and occurs for many different reasons. Some people get depressed as a result of a serious physical illness. Others may get depressed due to major life changes such as moving and leaving friends or death of a loved one, and some people have a family history of depression and may be obtained without any particular reason.

Cause of depression

What are the main causes of depression?

Abuse. Physical, sexual or emotional abuse in the past, resulting in depression later in life.
Certain drugs. Some drugs used to treat high blood pressure, such as beta - blockers or reserpine, can increase the risk for depression.

Conflict. Depression can occur as a result of conflicts or disagreements with family members or friends.

Death or loss of a beloved. Grief and sorrow over the death or loss of a loved one, even though a normal part of life, can contribute to depression.

Genetics. It is believed that the tendency to depression partly genetically transmitted to the next generation, but the way in which this happens is still unknown.

Major changes and events in their lives. Even positive changes such as the completion of their education, getting a job or entering into a marriage can cause depression, and it can do and bad events such as job loss or divorce.

Other personal problems. Problems such as social isolation or izbačenje from a group in which you want to be.

Serious illness. Many serious physical illness can take away energy and make you depressed.
Addiction to alcohol or other harmful substances. Around 30 % of people with this problem and has severe or clinical depression.

Does biology to do with depression?

Scientists have found differences in the brains of people who are depressed and those who did not. For example, the hippocampus, a tiny part of the brain vital to preserving the memory is often lower in people with a history of depression. A smaller hippocampus has fewer receptors for serotonin ( a neurotransmitter that gives us a sense of calm and contentment ). In a game that many other neurotransmitters such as dopamine or norepenefrin.

Although it is not yet clear why depressed people have a smaller hippocampus ( there are several theories ), one thing is clear - Depression is a complex disease that is affected by many factors, and the study of biological and chemical processes behind the state of depression will come to more effective ways to combat this disease.

Symptoms Of Panic Attacks And Panic Disorder

The manifestation of anxiety can cause many to experience debilitating symptoms of panic attacks which can lead to an avoidance of situations, places and even people. There are two types of people though, there are people that experience a panic attack and label it as an uncomfortable and unsettling experience that is no real threat to the individuals health, thus the fear of recurring symptoms isn't present (or go unnoticed). Then there are the other types of people that store the memory deep in their subconscious mind, in this case the connection has been made between the fear of recurring attacks and the possibility of a real threat to the individuals physical and mental health. This is when things start to become chronic, and the label that goes with this fear of recurring attacks is commonly known as having panic disorder, which can be characterized by the following:

- Repeated attacks for at least 6 months
- Constantly 'checking in' and being overly concerned that another panic attack is near
- Feeling like things are mentally and possibility physically going out of control
- Experiencing a big increase in stress and anxiety on a daily, or possibly hourly basis
So What Are The Symptoms Of Anxiety That Cause These Attacks?
- Shortness of breath
- Chest pain
- Tingling or numbness in the fingers and hands
- Profuse sweating and possibly chills
- Overly accelerated heartbeat
- Stomach pain and nausea
- Tremors

The usual time frame for experiencing a full blown panic attack is somewhere around 10 minutes, but the duration and the symptoms of panic attacks can vary from person to person.

Two Things You Must NOT Do If You Experienced Your First Panic Attack Recently:

#1) Do Not Visit A Doctor - I know this goes against what many 'professionals' out there say, but it's important that you don't JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS and book a doctors appointment right after. Take your time, look into what might have brought on the panic attack, and move on with your life without feeding it beliefs that don't support your mental health.

#2) Do Not Look For Support And Reassurance On Doctor Google - Yes others have had these frightening symptoms of anxiety before and yes they've all lived. Understand that by researching your symptoms of anxiety online and looking for others that have had a similar panic attack experience as you have, could open the door to building a feared response that could get hard to break in the future.

The goal here is of course to learn from your previous panic attack (if there was something that brought it on) and to not let it happen again, but, equipping yourself to manage your panic attack symptoms when they become present is just as important. The way you do this is by focusing on your mental and physical reaction to the symptom, and the possible situation. Conditioning yourself to physically do things that don't add to your fear of the symptoms, as well training thoughts that reaffirm your healthy lifestyle will go a long way to preventing chronic anxiety and panic disorder.

Women Prefer Implicit Explanations for Orgasm

A few women have been observed in the labor­atory to orgasm multiple times or with minimal stim­u­la­tion. But such women are incred­ibly rare.

Many of these cases have more in common with a nervous disorder or some kind of fit than a sexual release. If someone exper­i­ences orgasm like the ticking of a clock (or hiccups) it not likely that another un-afflicted person could duplicate that exper­i­ence even if they wanted to.

Our sense of inad­equacy comes from expect­a­tions set by unique indi­viduals. Yet the very sensa­tion­alism of such stories high­lights the rarity of women's true orgasmic response. Genital hiccups may have char­ac­ter­istics in common with orgasm but they are not a response to erotic stimuli.

It is assumed that women in the past did not orgasm because of ignor­ance (of effective stim­u­la­tion tech­niques) or atti­tudes (that inhib­ited their responses). But a true sex drive cannot be subdued just by social pressure.

If a man cannot achieve an erec­tion he feels truly wretched (so that life feels hardly worth living) because he cannot enjoy his arousal cycle.

Women may be unhappy about a lack of orgasm but they can live with it.

Women have sex because they feel guilty about not offering in the past, they are trying to keep their partner happy or because they want to enjoy an intimate act with a lover. These are perfectly valid reasons for a woman to engage in inter­course with someone she loves but they do not indicate any kind of 'drive' to have sex or an orgasm. Waiting for a lover to initiate inter­course indic­ates a wish to be found sexu­ally desir­able, a need to feel appre­ci­ated and a desire to enjoy sensual and loving intimacy.

Sex drive cannot be switched on and off depending on a man's personal circum­stances (such as whether he is in a real­tion­ship). Men can compensate (e.g. by masturb­ating) but they can't easily subjugate their drive to a lover's wishes, which is why men can appear insens­itive as lovers.

It is implied that women are happy with a lack of orgasm. Most women are too embar­rassed to ques­tion but also they don't want to hurt their lover's feel­ings. Women may reluct­antly accept that inter­course is not arousing. Men cannot compre­hend that without a sex drive women have no reason to be moved by sex at all. Rather than try to convince men of some­thing they will never accept women take the easier route of faking.

Is My Sex Drive Too Low? 3 Surprising Reasons Men AVOID Sex

Do I have a low sex drive? Am I just getting too old and tired for sex? Or maybe I have something wrong with me that is leading to a decreased libido? Does my testosterone level get lower as I age? And is that the ONLY reason that my sex drive may not be enough to please my partner, or is there something else at work as well?

Any of these questions sound familiar? The truth is, for many men... sex drive diminishes with age. Ironically? For many, many women... sex drive and libido INCREASES as we get older, leading to sexual unbalances that can destroy a relationship.
Some of the reasons that men experience a decrease in sex drive?

1 - A reduction in attraction to his partner.

Yes, I'm going to say it... EVEN though women often hate to hear the words. The truth is, in private surveys, up to 50% of men claim that at least some of their lack of intimate interest and inspiration comes from some sort of reduction in how attracted they are to their significant other. This occurs MOSTLY in married men, and typically... in men over the age of 45 who have been married for 10 years or more.

2 - Sexual and Physical Insecurity

Believe it or not, many men have a reduced sex drive because they are ANXIOUS about sex. Size and body insecurity and the lack of sexual self esteem that is generated by fearful thoughts can not only lead to a diminishment in sex drive, they can also lead to erectile dysfunction and other sexual maladies common in men.

3 - Low Testosterone

Yes, some men actually find their sex drive goes down simply because they have a chemical imbalance in other areas. Testosterone is a key factor in lots of stereotypically ALPHA male behavior and tendencies, and a lower level of "test" in the body can lead to depression, listlessness and an ambivalence in interest in activities that were previously considered pleasurable or highly desirable.
Obviously SEX is #1 on this list for most of us... and a hormonal imbalance caused by injury, or age or even something as simple as being overweight, can lead to a rapid decrease in the desire to have sex.

The good news?

All of the above are completely reversible in most cases, and in many cases... the BEST way to improve your quality of life in other areas, is to improve the quality (and the quantity) of the sex you are having now. The truth is, good sex is not just a quality of life issue.

It's function of a healthier, happier and LONGER life as well. There are many studies now showing the people who have MORE sex, and even BETTER sex, live longer, are happier overall, and live lives of perpetual passion in many other areas as well!

Trust me... if your married, or have a girlfriend you love, there is no better gift you can give her this holiday season than longer, stronger and better sex.