A large number of sex addicts talk about having problems with
their home life growing up, specifically with their parents. While many
report outright mistreatment and sexual abuse, the parental behavior
that can lay the foundation for a sex addiction can be far more subtle.
We learn a great deal from our parents, more than many realize, and it starts almost as soon as we're born. Infant brains have received no input from the outside world beyond what they sensed inside their mothers, so when they come out and their eyes and ears begin to work, the brain begins to lay down circuitry that will develop over time. Infants learn very simple things about the world around them, such as the results of bitter tastes, bright lights, and loud noises.
They also learn social cues from their parents, which helps them build all sorts of skills later on in life. One of the things they acquire is the ability to manage discomfort and stress. They do this by being comforted by their parents when they feel these things and cry over it. As time goes on, they adapt to changes in the amount of comfort they receive from their parents and eventually come to be able to handle stress on their own.
Problems can develop when parents, for whatever reason, fail to provide a basic level of comfort to their children. Mood disorders in parents can be sensed by infants who never quite get a handle on stress relief. Over time, if this continues, their ability to regulate their feelings becomes more and more skewed, thus opening the door for things like sex addiction. The reverse can also be true for parents who provide too much comfort to children as they grow older.
Some call this "babying," them, and it's where the child is never allowed the opportunity to handle discomfort on their own.
Sex addicts report both kinds of relationships with their parents, either too distant or too close. The behavior has to be fairly consistent over time, so a parent shouldn't necessarily fear that periods of not being as attentive as they could be, or perhaps a little overbearing, will lead to sex addiction later in the child's life. Many factors go into developing a thing like addiction, and not all are related to parenting.
Sex addiction and the closely related "love addiction," are types of attachment disorders. Sex and love are import methods humans use to form bonds with each other. When a person engages in a sex act, their brain releases chemicals that make them feel good. The same thing happens when the flirt or date. Its how the brain rewards and encourages such behavior, but some people can become addicted to the rush.
The euphoric feeling sex and love generate drowns out negative feelings and can be confused with true emotional bonds. Addicts often have difficulty regulating stress in healthy ways or forming meaningful social bonds, and this may be because they were ill equipped for it from the beginning. A person who doesn't have the tools to manage stress or understand real relationships may become addicted to shadows of those things.
We learn a great deal from our parents, more than many realize, and it starts almost as soon as we're born. Infant brains have received no input from the outside world beyond what they sensed inside their mothers, so when they come out and their eyes and ears begin to work, the brain begins to lay down circuitry that will develop over time. Infants learn very simple things about the world around them, such as the results of bitter tastes, bright lights, and loud noises.
They also learn social cues from their parents, which helps them build all sorts of skills later on in life. One of the things they acquire is the ability to manage discomfort and stress. They do this by being comforted by their parents when they feel these things and cry over it. As time goes on, they adapt to changes in the amount of comfort they receive from their parents and eventually come to be able to handle stress on their own.
Problems can develop when parents, for whatever reason, fail to provide a basic level of comfort to their children. Mood disorders in parents can be sensed by infants who never quite get a handle on stress relief. Over time, if this continues, their ability to regulate their feelings becomes more and more skewed, thus opening the door for things like sex addiction. The reverse can also be true for parents who provide too much comfort to children as they grow older.
Some call this "babying," them, and it's where the child is never allowed the opportunity to handle discomfort on their own.
Sex addicts report both kinds of relationships with their parents, either too distant or too close. The behavior has to be fairly consistent over time, so a parent shouldn't necessarily fear that periods of not being as attentive as they could be, or perhaps a little overbearing, will lead to sex addiction later in the child's life. Many factors go into developing a thing like addiction, and not all are related to parenting.
Sex addiction and the closely related "love addiction," are types of attachment disorders. Sex and love are import methods humans use to form bonds with each other. When a person engages in a sex act, their brain releases chemicals that make them feel good. The same thing happens when the flirt or date. Its how the brain rewards and encourages such behavior, but some people can become addicted to the rush.
The euphoric feeling sex and love generate drowns out negative feelings and can be confused with true emotional bonds. Addicts often have difficulty regulating stress in healthy ways or forming meaningful social bonds, and this may be because they were ill equipped for it from the beginning. A person who doesn't have the tools to manage stress or understand real relationships may become addicted to shadows of those things.
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