How to Create an Atmosphere of Success

Negative thinking can colour all the aspects of your life so that everything looks dismal. When you change the way that you think, and what you think about, you can begin to see the world through different eyes, and create an atmosphere of success.

Begin the day by being grateful

Attitudes of gratitude and thankfulness help you to focus on what you have; look around you - do you have dirty dishes? That means that you have eaten, and haven't gone hungry. Are you able to walk around? That means that you are healthy and not restricted in your mobility. Do you have friends and family you can talk to? That means that you are not lonely and isolated. Meditate and think on the many things you have to be thankful for.

Practice random acts of kindness

It is often expressed by many philosophers that you reap what you sow. When you sow happiness for others, by expressing encouragement and kindness towards others, you generate positive feelings in others towards yourself. It also gives you a mental boost, knowing that you have made another person joyful today. Many movements such as random acts of kindness, or the pay it forward movement, or suspended coffee movements thrive on being kind. It is generally part of a person's nature to want to be kind to others, foster that natural instinct in yourself, in order to improve the quality of your own life.

Spend time enjoying yourself

If you are always working, and not giving yourself a break, you set yourself up for prolonged stress and for burnout. It is important to rest and to relax, to enjoy yourself, and make time for activities and hobbies you enjoy. The brain and body both need to have time out, so when you sleep, rest, and spend time in creative pursuits, you work with your natural bodily rhythms which complement a life of work and balance in other areas of your life.

Many people follow spiritual pursuits in order to maintain mental wellness

Studies have shown that people who engage in spiritual pursuits, such as prayer, reading the Bible, and belonging to a church congregation have better health outcomes than people who do not follow spiritual practices. The benefits of belonging to a community of people are natural, in that they provide for social reinforcement, mutual encouragement, and extended systems of support amongst peers.

Practicing deliberate positive thinking improves mental health

When you deliberately think positive thoughts, and affirming thoughts about yourself, you are rewiring the brain into being in a thriving state, where you are less prone to be susceptible to the negative effects of stress. People who regularly affirm themselves and are not haughty about their achievements, but are generous towards themselves in self-compassion have been shown to be more resilient in life through a number of psychological studies.

A lot of people have experienced episodes of depression, anxiety disorders and mental health
problems, due to a number of reasons, including trauma, chronic stress and worries about day to day issues. They may also have been subject to burnout from overwork, or the burdens of being a carer. Through the practice of surrounding yourself with positive people, people who are compassionate, and like minded people who choose to see things as always being hopeful, you can change your life, and look forward to better outcomes for your life. Positive thinking and the reinforcement of happy, likeminded and encouraging peers will set your course for success.

Three Ways to Overcome Anxiety

Panic attacks are no picnic. You can be walking along and pushing your shopping trolley at the supermarket and then boom! Your heart starts racing, and your chest tightens up, and you feel like you can't breathe, and your palms get sweaty, and you feel like you need to run and disappear somewhere. Learn right now how you can make them evaporate for good.

Anxiety is also a very distressing state of mind; if you are experiencing frequent panic attacks, this can be an indicator of burnout related to chronic stress. Seek help from your medical practitioner, who can refer you to counselling and support you in removing anxiety from your life.

1. Give yourself extra time to do things to prevent panic attacks.

When you are rushing around, you can be more prone to panic attacks. Start your day at least 15 minutes earlier, and spend some time quietly by yourself in the morning. This will give you more time to be quiet and relaxed, so you will be able to be more at peace with yourself and not feel as though you have to be pressured so much. Practice mindfulness, and make sure that you get yourself somewhere safe, and remember to breathe. If you need to exit from public, try to call a friend to come and assist you if you need it.

2. When you are in the middle of a panic attack:

Get control of your breathing. Breathe deeply by forcing the air swiftly and deeply; you will then breathe the air back in, and do this several times over. Stop quietly, and then give use one hand to massage the other, and give yourself deep pressure in each of your hands. Breathe again, and keep massaging each of your hands until you regain calm. You can also squeeze your hands together tightly and hold them for seven seconds, and then repeat. Practice mindfulness, and make sure that you get yourself somewhere safe, and remember to breathe. If you need to exit from public, try to call a friend to come and assist you if you need it.

3. Implement lifestyle changes to prevent panic attacks in the long term:

Clean up your diet, eat as much unprocessed food as you can, and as many fruit and vegetables as you can reasonably manage. Reduce your caffeine intake, give away alcohol and also give away nicotine. Talk to a counsellor about your personal problems, and also do what you can to alleviate stress from your life. Try to see things in perspective, and don't sweat the small stuff. Let go of perfectionism, and set yourself realistic goals, not unachievable goals. Spend more time in nature, and quiet contemplation. Spending time in nature reinforces human's natural need for being in the outdoors (a phenomenon referred to as biophilia, or love of nature). Join a social support circle, so that you have others to rely on to help relieve some of your mental burdens. Engage in creative pursuits, and make sure that you are not always working, and ensure you get adequate rest.
Using these three simple steps, you can let go of stress, and reduce your proneness to anxiety and panic attacks, and have a life that is calm and peaceful and full of joy.

The Pleasure Of The Penis Power Through Botanical Beauties

WHEN A MAN HAS A PENIS THAT WORKS FOR HIM, HE HAS A LOT TO BE THANKFUL FOR. However, the pleasure of the penis for some doesn't come from just wishful thinking, it emanates from woeful wants. It is building the body through exercises and following the right formula including Botanical beauties such as herbs, that are grown right under our noses. We will discuss why it is very important to have a healthy penis and how we can move from the fantasy of giving pleasure to the reality of actual performance. Let's start with your current performance.

Are You Having These Sex Problems?:

Do you find yourself losing erection during sex? This can be very frustrating to any woman. Another thing that is truly annoying is to have a premature delivery before the curtains come down.
There is no trick in having a pleasurable sexual encounter nor an elusive fantasy. Enjoyment doesn't mean hours upon hours of long a painful sex as the act can actually last as little as 5 to 10 minutes. Another myth that we are accustomed to is the length of the penis. Neither the length nor the hours has anything to do with this widely-talked-about performance. Actual intercourse is pleasurable because the vagina is well lubricated for penetration.
However, without a firm and erect penis, this penetration is impossible. The entire spotlight comes from simple botanical nutrition which we will discover after ascertaining the problem below the belt.

Weak Penis

The penis is the most important part of a man's reproductive system as is the vagina to a woman. There are other areas of the body that are erogenous zones but the final show-down leads back to the faceoff between the dynamic duos.
If a man has a weak penis, he cannot perform the way he should. It doesn't matter the length of his sexual encounter as the bliss can last between 10 and 15 minutes, and that could be a very pleasurable experience compared to 1 long, boring hour of pain. But how can we know how to identify the symptoms of this "poor" condition?

Cause for Concern

If you find yourself greeting the bathroom several times during the night, your sudden burst of courtesy is a cause for concern. This could unfortunately be a problem with the prostate as it becomes inflamed and when this happens, there might be other conditions that follow.
Among these conditions are the lack of interest in sex and premature ejaculation. All these are symptoms that can lead to poor sexual performance and we will highlight the right remedy for this embarrassing situation.

Botanical Beauties

Isn't it wonderful to have a natural growing plant that could improve your performance in bed? That is the botanical beauty of the cure that nature provides.
The power of the penis could also come from increasing the size if you wish but it doesn't stop there. Regular exercise to release the stress hormone could also help you cope with the psychological problem that comes from having a weak erection. This also helps the blood to circulate through your veins and arteries.
Here are some plants that could greatly help to restore your sex life:
· Butea Superba
· Jamaican Sarsaparilla
· Panax Ginseng
The above remedies help to regulate the blood pressure, increase the production of testosterone, sustain an erection and enhance energy and power during sex.

The Power Is Yours Through Herbs

There might be other alternative but through naturally grown organic remedies, a man can restore his life and be normal again. Treating his body to natural supplements is good and when they are applied as daily supplements, coupled with regular exercise, the power is there for the taking.
Nothing is impossible when it comes to pleasing a woman because a man has the right tool for the job regardless of the size. He just needs to unleash the power behind it.

 

The Dreaded "S" Word - Suicide

The common myth is that suicide is the most selfish act someone can commit. That's nonsense. People typically don't commit suicide until the pain of living becomes greater than the pain of dying, and nothing they've tried has worked. In fact, it generally makes perfect sense when viewed from their life perspective.
So let's take the unhelpful judgment out of it and look seriously at the factors involved in suicide. Much can be said about the risk factors and common means; this is just an overview.
First, let's look at some risk factors of suicide. Naturally, not all will apply in every situation. (**VERY Important; *Especially in the elderly)

• History of suicide attempts
• Talking about suicide or leaving a suicide note
• Planning for suicide (e.g., making a will, giving away their things, saying their goodbyes)
• Being depressed (Caution: suicide rates increase when someone appears to be coming out of a deep depression, and in summer)
• Chronic, unresolved grief
• Poverty
• Unemployment, especially in young men
• Feelings of powerlessness, shame, guilt, low self-esteem
• Poor physical health
• Social isolation
• Being single
• Family history of suicide
• Use of alcohol or other drugs
• Having a personality disorder
• Poor sleep
• Bereavement
• Access to firearms
• Being elderly &/or male
• Major holidays and birthdays
• First week following discharge from the hospital
• Just before or after a major diagnosis
• Before or during disciplinary proceedings

The most common means of suicide include:

• Intentional drug overdose, often accompanied by alcohol
• Jumping from a height
• Gun or knife
• Cutting
• Hanging
• Burning
• Asphyxiation
• Intentional self-neglect, especially in the elderly

What can you do if you suspect someone in your life has become suicidal? Here are a few ideas:

1. Take it seriously.
2. Talk about it. Ask about the depression and any suicidal feelings and behaviors.
3. Listen. Listen for the feelings beneath the words. Listen for the pain that has led up to this moment.
4. Don't argue. Don't offer platitudes.
5. Assist the person with getting professional help-even offer to make the appointment and go with him/her to the first visit.
6. Offer to help create a safe environment (remove weapons, drugs, razors, scissors, etc), or offer to spend the night on their couch so s/he isn't alone.
7. Try to get him/her to call a crisis hotline.
8. Don't minimize or deny his/her pain.
9. If suicide seems imminent, don't leave the person alone.
10. If someone is telling you about feeling suicidal, don't agree to keep it a secret-get help.

If someone completes suicide, what can you expect to experience in the aftermath? Typically, survivors will feel an increased sense of rejection, responsibility, various grief reactions, shame, guilt, or even copycat behavior. Some may develop personality disorders.
In summary, suicide is a very complex issue and judgment isn't helpful. After all, we're not walking their path. But it can shake your own foundation to the core, so don't feel like you need to handle this difficult challenge alone. Get support for yourself before you develop complications from the pain and confusion.

 

What Is the Disorder Knows As Sex Addiction

Sex addiction is a growing problem with damaging effects. It is a disease, it is a mental, spiritual, psychological, emotional and physical malady. Because of the sexual nature of the addiction it is not widely or openly discussed. Therefore, many people suffer with their addiction in silence.

According to The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health, "sexual addiction is a persistent and escalating pattern or patterns of sexual behaviors acted out despite increasingly negative consequences to self or others."

Some of these sexual behaviors include masturbation, watching pornography, engaging in cyber sex, engaging in phone sex, going out to strip clubs, hiring prostitutes or engaging in prostitution, sex with multiple anonymous partners and repeated sequential affairs, to name a few.

While at first glance, this addiction may seem like a moral problem, it is clear that it is also a real medical condition. This is evidenced by a draft released in 2010 by the American Psychiatric Association which recognizes it as a medical disorder which they formally call "Hypersexual Disorder." The draft lists the following as symptoms of the disorder:

The addicted individual spends "Excessive time consumed by sexual fantasies and urges, and by planning for and engaging in sexual behavior." This is called the obsession part of the disease. The person thinks about, daydreams about and is always planning on how to get their next "fix".

"Repetitively engaging in these sexual fantasies, urges and behavior in response to dysphoric mood states (e.g., anxiety, depression, boredom, irritability)." This is called the compulsion. The addict can't get enough, they need more of their drug to be satisfied.

"Repetitively engaging in sexual fantasies, urges and behavior in response to stressful life events." This part of the obsession takes place when triggers are created, when life becomes too stressful, the addict does not know how to properly feel or emote so they use their sex addiction to medicate their feelings.

"Repetitive but unsuccessful efforts to control or significantly reduce these sexual fantasies, urges and behavior." Many addicts realize they have a problem and want to stop, on their own, this won't happen. It's a disease and much like cancer, you can't just realize you have cancer and say I'll stop having cancer. Help is mandatory in dealing with this addiction.

"Repetitively engaging in sexual behavior while disregarding the risk for physical or emotional harm to self or others." Who in their right mind would engage in behaviors that are harmful to self or others? a sick person is the answer and since the sex addict is suffering and struggling with a disease, they need help.

Sex addiction resembles other addiction in many ways. For one, the brain chemistry changes are similar. Family background of addiction is prevalent in sex addicts as well as in alcoholics and drug addicts. Additionally, addicts in general report having come from homes that lacked nurturing. In most cases the addicts reported abusive backgrounds including emotional, physical and sexual abuses. They also report having been from family environments where neglect, abandonment and enmeshment were commonplace. Finally, many sex addicts suffer from other addictions. Because of these similarities to drug and alcohol addiction, the consequences and treatment options are very similar.

As you would imagine, this addiction comes with serious consequences in all areas of the lives of sex addicts including social, emotional, physical, legal, financial/occupational and spiritual. As such, recovery from sex addiction can be a lifelong challenge. However, there is hope for sex addicts. They have to take the first step and commit to recovery. Once an addict has made that commitment, there are a number of recovery options available, including counseling, individual and group therapy and all inclusive sexual addiction recovery programs.

Sex Addiction Recovery and Why I Should Follow The 12 Steps

The main reason you should follow a 12 step program to treat sex addiction is because such programs, based on techniques pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous, have been known to work. That said, unfortunately there is little in the way of solid, scientific data showing recovery rates on people who went through a 12 step program.

Part of the reason for this is because each 12 step group is different. Alcoholics Anonymous published its 12 step program in 1939, and since then the basic template has been refined and adapted to treat other compulsive behaviors including sex addiction, drugs, gambling, etc. They all involve a person admitting they have no control over their behavior and turning their life over to a higher power, thus becoming more introspective.

Each "S" programs is a little different in how they suggest members work their recovery but they all follow the same 12 step model pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous. Working a program of recovery has been proven to help calm the obsessions and compulsions of active sex addiction. Studies tend not to distinguish between people who went to a few meetings and left and those who stuck with it. There is anecdotal evidence to suggest 12 steps work, or at the very least are better than nothing. Still, a person looking for experts to agree that it works, or even a consensus on how well, is going to be disappointed.

Critics of 12 steps programs cite a 5 percent success rate, while groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous have argued success to be closer to 50 percent, and 25 percent after relapses. The debate has gone on for years, since the early 1940s, with proponents touting success and critics claiming their information is misleading and designed to bolster a treatment industry.

So why should a sex addict bother if even the experts can't agree on whether a 12 step program works or not? According to http://www.hazelden.org, a 1998 study done on 12 step alcoholic programs showed the program does have an effect on people whose social networks supported their drinking habit. This would indicate that the people surrounding the addicts had influence over their behavior.
A 12 step program puts a sex addict in a group that is not going to facilitate their addictive behavior. The addict will also be able to see other people with an addiction and compare their life to the others, perhaps realizing something they did not before. It will put the sex addict in contact with people who have reported recovery so they can see there is hope. It also lets a sex addict learn from others, using their techniques for dealing with urges and addressing problems in their life.

As previous articles explained, one component of the 12 step program is forcing a sex addict to look at their own life and behaviors. Step 4 of the 12 steps involve the addict taking an inventory of their life, behaviors, thoughts and actions and showing it to someone else, someone they trust. This is especially helpful for people who are not normally very introspective or self-conscious. A 12 step program makes a sex addict take a look at themselves from different angles, and once an addict does that they can often find ways to manage their addiction.

It should be noted that a sex addict is going to have to define success for themselves, and that they may carry with them their entire lives some behaviors learned from the 12 step program, namely the self-examination aspects. For the program to work, the addict program needs to stick to it; someone looking to be "cured" quickly is likely to be disappointed.

Life Between the Pings

I just spoke at the annual meeting of SIM (the Society of Information Management (SIM). These are corporate Chief Information Officers (CIOs) and Information Technology (IT) specialists who know me, they've read my books in their Leadership Learning Forums (LLF) and have listened to me talk to them over the last 20 years about the many ways there are for human beings to share information. We have explored the unconscious, entered trance states, and participated in ceremonies.

This year I talked about how the handheld computer is reprogramming human behavior on a massive scale. We are becoming addicted to the ping of an arriving call or text that triggers a burst of endorphins which stimulate the reward centers in the brain, and urge us to want more.

85% of all Americans are never more than an arms length away from their phones. In our culture, it is almost unimaginable to think about what life is like without the pings. Late-night show host Arsenio Hall recently said that he had the worst day in his life when he inadvertently left his iPhone at home. I can't be the only one who is terrified of what seems to me to be a cultural addiction to the ping. We are afraid that if we disconnect we might miss out on something that could be more important or exciting than whatever we are or are doing in the moment.

We defend our habit by exclaiming it could be an emergency and that we always have a choice about whether or not to respond to the intrusion. The bottom line is that it always takes us away from the moment and makes wherever we are or are doing never enough.

Our fetish with multitasking makes it possible to do many things but none of them as well as we could if we were more focused. I think we are suffering from Cultural Attention Deficit Disorder, that is manifesting in an epidemic of stress related mental illness and taking too many drugs.
Here is an antidote; come to the Thanksgiving table without your cellphones, make it the family ritual it is and be with each other in this moment. Tell family stories that remind you of all the things you are thankful for and what's most important to you.

Life is what happens between the pings.

Happy Thanksgiving, I say this To All My Relations, Mi Takuye Oyacin.

Our fetish with multitasking and cell phone addiction is taking us away from being in the moment and makes wherever we are or are doing never enough. Let's restore the dinner meal to a family ritual and prohibit cell phones at the table.