Five Tips to Overcome Stress

Tip One

Being right can be overrated.

Sometimes an argument can ensue if you are really wanting to be right about something. Don't sweat the small stuff. If you absolutely know that you are right, but the other person either doesn't want to see your point of view, or is refusing to listen, then to keep at them, wanting to demonstrate to them that you are correct - will provoke and cause more stress for you. Let it go. You know deep down within that you have all the facts, but for the sake of your own peace - stay calm and let it go.

Tip Two

Don't over-analyse situations

I have looked at my budget, looked at my bank account, looked at my work schedule, gone back mentally over situations thinking that I may have caused somebody some angst, wondered what I coulda-shoulda-woulda in all those useless time wasting endeavours of trying to over-analyse what is going on in my situation. I would have been better off thinking that what is, what is... and if I can't change it, or do anything about it, then just leave it be. Do what I can, and then stop thinking about it.

Tip Three

Don't sweat the small stuff

This is a good one for parents. I have two teenagers and a toddler. I have two autistic teenagers and a partner gets frustrated with toddler mess and other things. A lot of the time, I have to compromise and bend around and twist, for the sake of peace. I have learned that sometimes the little things don't really matter. The messy bedroom, the teenage floor-robe of clothes all over the floor, emptying the bin after asking a gazillion times for the teenagers to do it. Concentrate on what matters - peaceful living. Ask yourself, and get away somewhere quiet if you need to, does this situation matter in the overall scheme of things? Have you got clean clothes, clean dishes, clean toilet and generally not tripping over things? The family wants to watch a particular DVD and you can't stand those kinds of movies. In the end, I have decided that to let them go and do what they want to do, and I can go and do something else to entertain myself.

Tip Four

Don't take on things that aren't your responsibility

Do you get caught up in being overly concerned in what other people are doing? Are you begging your partner to come to the movies with you to see a particular thing, and they just don't want to go? Can you make up your mind to set to yourself, and keep your issues separate from other people, or go on to the movies by yourself? You aren't responsible for another person's happiness, and they aren't responsible for your happiness, so maintain responsibility for attending to your own issues, and let other people be. Are other people prying into your business? Quickly put it to rest by saying that you would prefer not to discuss it, and don't offer your opinion freely. People quickly end up blaming you for their problems if they have asked for your opinions, and then the situation goes belly up. I end up telling people that they have the capacity to solve their own issues, or refer them to seeking professional advice.

Tip Five

Take care of your own legitimate needs
You have a legitimate need not to be a martyr for other people. If you want to help others, by all means help them, but don't compromise on your own legitimate needs such as getting enough sleep, not going out with friends to an expensive restaurant if you really can't afford it, getting enough exercise and getting enough rest and healthy food.

Sex Addiction Rehab: A Look At Recovery Options

Many places in the United States offer rehab programs for sex addiction; however, what each provider offers can vary. They range in affordability, but even the most cost-effective can pose a financial burden. So be sure to research each one carefully and seek recommendations from more than one therapist.

There are differences between in and out-patient rehab. Inpatient rehab is intensive and involves the sex addict being removed completely from their normal life for a period of time. Outpatient rehab programs can range in length from two to twelve weeks, during which time the addicts are under professional supervision. The idea is to remove them from sexual materials and behaviors to give them time to recalibrate their lives.

Unlike alcohol or drug addiction treatment, sex addiction therapy does not seek to eliminate sex from a person's life. Instead the goal is to bring the behaviors under control, to where they are not causing problems in the person's life. To do this, however, a period of sexual abstinence is involved. This removes the addict from the cycle they have become wrapped in, and it does so with methods beyond the addict's willpower. In some programs, addicts are monitored by professionals and other addicts who are assigned as partners to newer patients. These partners are farther along in treatment and are where they can provide guidance and support as well as accountability.

These rehab programs involve a stay at some sort of facility; however the addict is not there 24 hours a day. Some facilities have the patient stay there the bulk of the day, while they commute home or stay in a nearby hotel or some other form of accommodation.

The time spent at the facility is used to get the sex addict back on track so they can continue rehab on their own. They do not have access to the Internet, pornography, or other sexual materials. Professionals there can use medications and other techniques to inhibit sexual behavior if necessary. Meanwhile, addicts are taught replacement behavior therapy and replacement thought therapy. They attend group counseling and are introduced to a 12-step program. The abstinence period pulls the addict from the sex addiction cycle and allows the treatment techniques to take root.

Once the stay at the facility is complete, the sex addict will likely attend routine group meetings to track their progress. At this stage, many programs will start to involve the patient's loved ones who will provide support. Some programs bring family and spouses in sooner.

Other rehab programs are strictly in-patient, where the sex addict sleeps at the facility. These tend to be for patients with severe levels of addiction, or whose behaviors place themselves and others at risk.

Before enrolling, it is essential to make certain the facility has proper credentials. Get references and look to see if a program has clearly defined goals. A patient will want to focus on getting better in a timely manner, as stays in programs can incur a heavy cost. Be sure to remember there is no quick fix for sex addiction. Time and commitment are key, and expect to have a list of goals to be met within certain time parameters.

 

 

Sex Addiction Treatment Facilities - How Do They Provide Care?

A sex addiction treatment facility is a place where sex addicts go when they require intensive rehabilitation for their addiction. Many carry names such as "facility," "center," or "institute," and can be found throughout the United States and throughout the world. Some have been around since at least the 1980s and began as alcohol addiction treatment centers, then branched out to treat other forms of addiction, such as drugs, sex and gambling.

A comprehensive sex addiction treatment facility can offer inpatient and outpatient programs. Inpatient rehab generally involves periods of sexual abstinence and supervision that directs sex addicts towards therapy and other treatment programs. Patients may stay at the facility full time, or spend the bulk of their time there for a period of weeks.

These treatment facilities can also offer meeting space for therapy groups or individuals seeing a licensed therapist. Some are attached to universities or hospitals, and may, with a patient's consent, conduct research on the addiction in order to hone treatment methods and understand the problem better. Compared to other aspects of human physiology, sexuality has been lightly studied and many areas are still poorly understood by the general public and even by some professionals.

A person can be referred to a facility in a number of ways. They may decide their addiction is at a level where inpatient rehab is needed and seek the facility out themselves over the telephone or Internet. Facilities have screening processes designed to see if a person is in need of its services, and if not, can direct them to a better place. Many times a sex addict seeks out a therapist who will refer his or her patient to a treatment facility if the addiction is severe enough or causing immediate, damaging problems.

In the most severe cases, a person can be sent to a specialized treatment facility, or a facility with sex addiction treatment programs, as per a court order. Sadly many do not seek treatment for their addiction until after their behavior has run them afoul of the law. In some states, a court can assign a stay at such a facility as part of a required treatment program. For these patients, there is an added impetus to complete the program and do well, because the alternative can be incarceration.
Some insurance plans will cover the cost of a stay at a treatment facility. Depending on the facility, the cost can be a few hundred dollars per day, or more for the "higher end" locations. Some online facilities quote prices at around $37,000 per month.

It should be noted that not all experts agree on what sex addiction is, or that it can be called an addiction, or even that it exists. Critics of the addiction treatment industry claim it's a booming business. With the high profile that addiction to sex has been given in recent years by celebrities and the media, it is understandable that more and more treatment centers and therapy centers are opening up. This is why it is important to be careful when looking at treatment facilities. Do some research on your own, talk to more than one physician, and make sure the facility you select has goal oriented programs that are not seeking long, expensive stays when they may not be necessary. Like any treatable ailment, people with this addiction need to be wary when seeking help and take an active role in their own recovery.

The 12 Steps To Recovery From Sex Addiction

Recovering from a sex addiction requires adhering to a 12 step program. Such programs have become synonymous with people's efforts to change their lives and behaviors, and have been applied to everything including over-eating, sex, compulsive gambling, and drug addiction.

The original 12 step program was published by Alcoholics Anonymous in the late 1930s to treat addiction to alcohol. Since then, it has been adapted and directed towards other forms of addiction and compulsive behaviors and has been recognized by the American Psychological Foundation.

Small details within each 12 step program change depending on what's being treated, but all follow the same template. While there is debate on what defines addiction, many agree that the brain becomes dependent on chemicals either imbibed (alcohol) or produced naturally through a behavior, such as sex or gambling.

The 12 Steps:

Step one is the sex addict admitting they have no power over their sex addiction and that their lives have gotten out of control. This step essentially defines a sex addiction, a situation where a person no longer can control their sexual behavior despite it causing them problems. This may sound facetious, but if a sex addict could control their behavior, they would not be an addict. Admitting powerlessness also opens the door to getting outside help. A person with a broken leg does not try to mend it on their own, they call a doctor because they do not have the skills to heal themselves. It is no different with a sex addiction.
Step two is acknowledging there is a "higher power" that can help the addict with their addiction. This and the next step may be two of the least understood, as "higher power" generally refers to God.

While many going through the 12 step program turn to the Christian faith, anything can serve as the higher power. A person can look to the sun, a favorite object, anything they can mentally equate with a power above themselves. Some neurologists have said the human brain is hardwired towards religion, and because of this it can be used as a powerful tool in influencing behavior.

A higher power plays the role of a neutral yet supportive third part in the sex addict's life. It is not the addicts themselves, nor is it their therapist, nor is it a loved one the addict may have wronged or someone who will judge them.

The third step is giving themselves over to that higher power, as they understand it. Many sex addicts begin reading the Bible and attending religious services of their faith. Others will take up a different spiritual text as their understand of their higher power. The book or the faith or belief is not important here, what is important is that the reliance on self get turned over to a reliance on a higher power. Most religions have set guidelines on sexual conduct, as well as other aspects of life, and make for a ready made code of conduct a person can adhere to, at least until their lives are under their control once more.

Step four is where the sex addict gets to the "nitty gritty" of their problem and comes to see what it looks like from the outside by completing a "moral inventory" of themselves. This inventory documents their life and how and when their sexual habits, failings, and other common behaviors began in an effort to see the big picture and have an accurate understanding of what it is. Typically, a deadline is put on this step, as many addicts tend to get hung up on it, either because they find it difficult to examine themselves this way, or feel the need to be too thorough.

The fifth step involves taking that inventory and showing it to someone else, either a spouse, sponsor, clergy or trusted confidant, or even another sex addict further along in their treatment. This is done for a number of reasons. If a sex addict can share this, it means they are comfortable with it to a degree and will be able to open up further because seeing the behavior inventory may not be enough to let the sex addict truly see their problem or recognize patterns in their behavior. When it comes to the familiar, an addict sees what they intend rather than what really is. It's the same as when an athlete needs a coach to check their stance or swing or attitude for their sport. So the sex addict needs another pair of eyes on their moral inventory to catch things and gain feedback from a different perspective.

Steps six and seven of the original Alcoholics Anonymous version are asking the higher power or God to remove the addict's defects and to forgive them. Other, more secular minded versions describe these steps as similar transition periods. The sex addict goes from identifying the problem to recognizing that they, themselves, are now past that stage and can now expend energy enacting change. The addict is taught to see that the mistakes have been made cannot be unmade, and wishing to change the past is a waste of energy. While it's not a "clear slate," it is a shift of focus onto the present, which can be affected by the sex addict.

Step eight, while at first may seem like a look back, is actually for the addict to compile a list of people their sex addiction has harmed. This may be family they've neglected, spouses cheated on, and in extreme cases, victims of their sexual abuse. This step is sometimes broken down into smaller segments, identifying the types of relationships harmed by the sex addiction. In the case of deceased loved ones or people the addict cannot have contact with, this step serves as an emotional release by further letting the addict see the extent of the damage their behavior has caused.

The ninth step is an extension of the eighth, and involves making amends with the people identified in that step, when possible. It could be something as simple as a verbal apology, and may not be something that can be accomplished in a moment, a day, or even months. This step is distinctive to the individuals involved, and not completely possible in all cases.

Step 10 is continuing the list from step five, and admitting when a mistake has been made. This can expand beyond sexual behavior and include any kind of non-desirable actions or emotions. Negative feelings are what led the sex addict to compulsively seek the numbing behavior to start with. And being able to identify those trouble spots and handle them in a way that doesn't feed a new addiction cycle is key. Sex addiction often comes with other forms of addiction, or can spin off into those other forms if the root cause is not being monitored.

Prayer and meditation are Step 11 in the program. Many call prayer and meditation one and the same, but whichever route the sex addict chooses, they should set aside time each day for quiet reflection. A daily pause is used as an anchor to keep the complexities of the addict's outside world from becoming overwhelming. This step lets the sex addict remind themselves of their progress and the tools they have to fight their compulsions.

The final step is working with other sex addicts, or passing on some of the knowledge the addict has gained. The selfless side of this is ensures a pool of experienced teachers well versed in the subject matter who can perpetuate the program. The benefit to the addict doing the teaching is the same as to teacher; the one imparting the wisdom in turn learns more about what they've come to know. Having to articulate to another person what one has learned makes a person think about benefits in ways they hadn't before, and leads to greater understanding.

Those are the basic 12 steps found in addiction recovery programs. Many are closely related, but together they show a progression. It should be noted this programs not a "do these 12 things and you're cured" prescription, but at the higher levels are a lifelong set of behaviors. They may play a less active role in the recovering sex addict's life as time goes on, but the inventory, meditation, and teaching tend to be in the background for a long time.

Four Magical Tips to Improve Your Memory

Aristotle's famous quote "Man is by nature a social animal" is quite true. We all are animals, but the thing that separates us from animals is the ability to use our brains. God has given us a brain which we can use and achieve the impossible. It was only a human brain that invented computers, a gadget that totally changed the life of human beings.

An important part of a having a good brain is to have a good memory. Today, in this competitive world everyone wants to stay ahead of others and that is only possible if you have a good memory. Even in the professional world one has to be mentally sharp in order to be a successful professional. There are different ways through which you can increase your memory power. Applying the below mentioned four tips can help you to achieve success in the academic as well as professional life.

Tip 1: Do not skip exercise and sleep. Both of them are equally important to nurture your brain. Exercising every day helps to intake oxygen in adequate amount inside your brain thereby activating the brain cells and thus improving the memory power.

Not having adequate sleep weakens the brain cells thereby reducing the creative capacity, problem solving abilities and analytical skills. Research has shown that during a deep sleep important memory enhancing activity takes place.

Tip 2: Keep good relationship with people. A study done by Harvard School of Public Health shows that people engaged in social life or interacting with others have a very good memory power. There are numerous ways on how we can improve the memory by frequent interactions with people such as joining an NGO and indulging in some activity or speaking with friends and relatives over the phone.
Laughing is yet another interesting way that always keeps the brain active and the memory sharp. Listening to jokes stimulates parts of the brain. If you are not able to do it then you can start laughing at yourself by explaining the most embarrassing situations of your life to friends.

Tip 3: Avoid taking too much stress. Taking too much stress destroys hippocampus, part of the brain from where all the creative ideas come out. Meditation is one of the most effective ways to drive away stress from the body. Studies have shown that people who meditate regularly enjoy life to the fullest.

Many people go in to depression and suffer from fatigue by taking too much stress as a result of which they are not able to focus on any work that they perform.

Tip 4: Have a healthy diet. Just as protein is necessary in order to have a muscular body; in the same way, our brain also needs quality food to keep it active all the time. Eating fruits and vegetables helps to prevent the cells of the brain from getting damaged. Green tea also works wonderfully and helps to improve the memory.

Consuming wine in moderation also helps to activate the brain cells, but it should not be consumed daily.

Hence applying the four simple tips you can see a drastic change in your memory in just a few days.

Tips for Protecting Yourself Financially

If someone called you and said they were from your credit card company or bank, and they had a problem to discuss, would you give them confidential, personal information over the phone?
Don't be too quick to think it couldn't happen to you. One type of scam involves imposters posing as bank reps who call targeted victims about "problems" with their credit cards. They read off a list of phony charges made on the person's credit card to gain the card member's attention and card information. The person naturally gets upset and isn't thinking clearly so they give the caller their credit card numbers to help resolve the problem.

If the caller sounds especially friendly, convincing and kind, that may be the all it takes to separate that person from his or her hard-earned savings. Even the savviest person isn't immune to these scams because fraudulent cat and mouse games are always changing. Many scams purposely target seniors who have been known to be sympathetic to scammers.

This is one of the more common financial frauds aimed at grandparents. After listening to a sad tale on the phone about their "grandchild," the grandparent withdraws a large amount of cash from their bank and wires it to the bogus "granddaughter" or "grandson" who is "stranded" abroad in need of money. The grandchild has supposedly lost their wallet or passport abroad or they have been robbed of everything including their plane ticket. This is also a common email scam.

Unfortunately, even though some frauds have been around for years, there is always someone who is vulnerable to talking to a nice-sounding caller from a well-known company like a bank, credit card company, insurance agency or government organization who isn't who he says he is. But that caller has only one goal in mind: to gain access to your social security number and/or financial information.

How and Why Seniors are Targeted

Crooks use a variety of financial theft strategies. Here are some ways they get seniors and others to trust them.

• They purchase databases like direct mail focused on older adults or they buy lists of higher priced retirement communities or wealthy neighborhoods. They visit senior centers or health care centers where wealthy donors may be recognized on a wall or plaque to gain names of people who might be good targets.
• After a natural disaster, people are targeted to give money to a "fake" charity. Some scammers gain access to records of who has contributed to charities in the past. After the historic floods in Colorado in September, some telemarketers called people asking for credit card numbers to charge a donation. These callers were not usually legitimate.
• Unfortunately, seniors are often targets of scams because they may easily get confused and they want to trust the person they are talking to.
• People who live alone and are lonely may often be targets of fraudulent callers because they are known to respond to "nice-sounding" people.
• Many scams are Medicare or health-based. Because seniors have more medical issues it may seem natural to them to get calls about their health and the caller requests personal information.
• They want to make sure their bills get paid so when in doubt they give out confidential information when they shouldn't.

Tips for Protecting Yourself

• First off, never give personal banking anyone on the phone. Most banks only ask for personal information when absolutely necessary such as when you are opening or changing an account. The do not ask for personal information over the phone or by email because they recognize that both forms of communication are not completely not secure.
• Remember, financial institutions will not ask for non-public information by phone, e-mail or through a Web site. When in doubt, call your bank and ask if they've contacted you. Chances are they haven't.
• If an offer sounds good don't quickly react. Tell the caller to send it to you in writing.
• Don't reply to phone or email messages that don't seem quite right to you. If everyone did that, you would put the crooks out of business. From their perspective, it just wouldn't pay to keep doing what they're doing.
• If you want to make a donation to a charity, don't make the donation with a credit card or give out financial information over the phone.
• Stay up-to-date on your financial matters. Monitor your credit card and bank statements on a regular basis.

Keeping Elderly Parents & Friends Financially Safe

• Make regular in-person visits. Spend time with senior family members and friends. Make sure they are not lonely. You can do this by phone if you live out of the area, but in-person, open communication, is even better.
• Sit down with elderly parents and talk about how financial scams can occur. Let them know you are available to discuss any great "opportunity" they may have heard about.
• Put notes by the phones that say "Never Give Personal Banking Information to ANYONE."
• If a senior doesn't have close friends or family members close by they trust, suggest that they get an attorney to act as power of attorney as needed.
• Set up an annual or monthly budget for donations the person has an interest in. The senior has final say over their money but through a series of limited donations they can enjoy giving back to their community but just not over the phone to potential scammers.

Even though you are aware of how important it is to stay ahead of financial scams, fraudulent activity is gaining momentum. If no one was responding to requests for personal financial information, the scams would stop. Stay sharp, stay aware. Don't be tempted to give scammers valuable information and the opportunity to take what they want.

How Men Become Porn Addicts

There are many reasons why a man might become a porn addict. Pornography addiction is more widely reported among males than females. The reason for a particular person's porn addiction often needs to be considered more than the addiction itself. So what are some reasons why a man might become a pornography addict?

With the advent of high speed Internet, personal devices and the ease of access, it is easier than ever to access pornographic images and find exactly what you're looking for. Watching pornography is rather widely accepted in the Western male culture - gone are the days of subscribing to porn magazines, and hiding them from spouses. It is simple to click onto a porn website, view the images, and quickly close the web browser. This easy access can spiral into addiction for some people, especially those who may have an abundance of free time or a lack of strong interpersonal romantic or sexual bonds.

Men often feel it is difficult to meet attractive women. They may lack the self-confidence to frequent bars, clubs, and community events to find a desirable woman. Insecure men may think such a woman might be unapproachable, may never respond to them, or that a relationship would be next to impossible. Pornography is a seemingly perfect solution to this purported problem; attractive women, with no risk of rejection or the possibility of an unhappy ending to a relationship. To some, the very one-sided aspect of pornography makes the so-called relationship safe and useful to the viewer, and to others this "safe" relationship mirrors what is often lacking in a real relationship.

Men may also feel their sex lives are boring, and are convinced pornography will spice things up. They may introduce new practices and techniques into the relationship with their partners. However, as often is the case, these new techniques prove unsatisfying and their sexual satisfaction unfulfilled, This disappointment leads to more and more hours spent watching pornography in search of more ways to breathe new life into a sex life otherwise viewed as boring and monotonous.

Some porn addicts have odd sexual fantasies long before they begin watching porn, and often prefer fulfilling these fantasies by watching porn videos, rather than to dare reveal these illusions to another human being. They may feel safer and less exposed living out the fantasy alone, especially if the fantasy is particularly violent or perverse. Otherwise they may just feel it is easier to fulfill their fantasy through pornography rather than revealing the hidden desire and potentially complicating a relationship.

For whatever the reason a particular man becomes a porn addict, it is important for him to get help when he feels ready for it. Help is available through individual or group therapy and Twelve-Step programs, which are especially valuable when it comes to forming a strong support network to help throughout the recovery process. Whichever method the suffering addicts choses to employ, admitting the problem exists, and seeking help are the first steps to a successful recovery from porn addiction.

What Is The Difference Between Intrusive and Exploitative Sex Addiction

Of the many forms sex addiction can take, the most harmful both to the addict and their victims has to be intrusive and exploitative sex addiction. It is important to note that not all sex addiction drives people to commit criminal acts, or that such behavior is a given part of the progression. A person addicted to masturbation and pornography is not predestined to escalate the behavior to groping strangers or worse.

First we should discuss the difference between intrusive and exploitative sex addiction. Each, when they rise to the level of addiction, are behaviors being used to provoke a response in the brain that triggers reward chemicals and helps the addict suppress any negative emotions. The addict cannot control their behavior, despite facing harmful consequences.

Intrusive sex generally involves groping, touching in inappropriate ways, frottage, or the invasion of personal space. It can happen in a variety of forms, ranging from subtle to overt. The physical act of touching a person in a sexual manner triggers the desired response in the brain, and as the behavior continues it can escalate in frequency and overtness.

In an early stage, the sex addict will be subtle about the touches. They can begin as non-sexual touching, perhaps on the shoulder, as a way to "test the waters," or work up the courage to go further. More intrusive touching can come in the form of "accidental" touching. For example, a sex addict may brush their hand against another's buttocks after casually arranging to bump into them.

This behavior can occur with people the addict knows, or it can happen with strangers in crowded public places. Subway cars are a common location for this, as people often find themselves standing closer to strangers than they normally would. The transitory and public nature of the environment also affords the opportunity for the groper to make a getaway, or go off completely undetected. While this does not approach a full sexual assault, victims of this behavior may not be eager to call attention to it in a crowded public place, especially if they are alone.

This behavior is, of course, illegal and in most places considered a serious sex crime. While not the most serious of sex crimes, it rises above the level of exhibitionism (flashing, exposing one's self) and voyeurism (Peeping Toms), and can get the perpetrator convicted and placed on the sex offender registry. This can have a far-reaching, long-term impact on a person's life, and unfortunately treatment for it often doesn't come through the corrections' system until after the damage is done.

Exploitative sex includes more extreme behaviors than intrusive sex. Rape and molestation fall into this category, but the real distinction involves the power dynamic between the person with this form of addiction and the victim. The abuser can occupy a position of power in the victim's life, being a boss, parent, clergy, teacher, caretaker, or abusive partner. As a sex addiction, exploitative sex is one of the most damaging to the victim, more so than to the addict whose needs are being fulfilled. Getting treatment for this addiction can be difficult, since most perpetrators who end up with the treatment get it only after the legal system has taken over.

The term sex offender is likely to be used more than addict. Not all sex offenders may have sex addiction, but because of the nature of the actions it can be a difficult line to distinguish.

Setting Your Bottom Line In Sex Addiction Recovery

The process of recovery from sex addiction is long and challenging. Part of the recovery process involves setting your "bottom line." Setting a bottom line is a common concept in recovery from any form of addiction. The process of setting a bottom line isn't necessarily a conscious one, but each addict will come to recognize or understand his or her bottom line throughout the recovery process. It can be useful to break up a bottom line into three separate parts: red light, yellow light and green light.

Red light behaviors are sexual behaviors that are destructive, addictive and lead to sexual preoccupation and out-of-control behaviors. These include behaviors where even one instance could lead to serious consequences such as arrest, transmission of HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases, loss of job and loss of a primary relationship. Red light behaviors also include any behavior that "makes you crazy" or starts a sexually compulsive acting-out cycle. These are behaviors that an addict must commit not to engage in, making them, his or her bottom line. Red light behaviors will differ from one sex addict to another, and each addict must discover and commit to on his or her own.

Yellow light behaviors can be broken down into two separate categories: boundary behaviors and caution behaviors. Boundary behaviors are those that you cannot engage in, but are not as severe in their consequence as red light behaviors. Again, these behaviors will be different for each sex addict.

A common example of a boundary behavior might be viewing pornography on the Internet. Caution behaviors are those that you made the decision not to give up. However, you are still aware that they need to be monitored to prevent them from spiraling out of control. A common one may be masturbation. Again, each person will have different caution behaviors.. Yellow light behaviors can really go either way for a recovering sex addict. Some sex addicts may need to stay away from masturbation completely, while others may find it to be a healthy activity if closely self-monitored. The key with yellow light behaviors, both boundary and caution, is to know yourself and be able to recognize when your behaviors are close to getting out of control.

Green light behaviors are the behaviors on which you really should be focusing your energy in your daily life on the road to recovery from sex addiction. These behaviors include establishing healthy relationships, dating and engaging in healthy sexual behaviors with a partner. Work on making green light behaviors the focus of your energies each day and over time you will not even think about the yellow and red behaviors. The more you engage in your new healthy lifestyle, the more fulfilling healthy sexual behaviors will become.

It can be hard at the outset of the recovery process to know what your bottom line is, but over time you will begin to recognize what behaviors are red, yellow and green.

The Double Life of Sex Addiction

Sex addicts are just like you and I, with the exception that they are struggling with a disorder that is gradually consuming more and more of their lives. Because sex addiction causes addicts to continually increase and escalate their sexually compulsive behaviors, they begin to lead double lives. They lead their normal life the best they can and live every moment of the day for their addictive life. Over time the normal life will unravel as the addictive life consumes more and more of time and energy.

For addicts, this issue is a deep, haunting secret. They live in constant fear of being caught. Tension, anxiety and stress built up as a result of having to live a secret double life. The compulsion to engage in sexual behaviors becomes more and more time consuming and the addict finds that he has to constantly escalate his behaviors just to achieve a sense of normalcy in his life. Along with a deteriorating emotional state, many addicts suffer from severe consequences as a result of their double life.

Relationships suffer as a result of this addiction. When a sex addict is living a double life, he tends to withdraw from everyone, including his spouse or life partner. This means that his relationships will suffer and in some cases become broken. The person he is in a relationship with will find it difficult to understand his change in behavior. Naturally, the addict will not be able to explain that change out of fear of revealing his double life.

Leading a double life often has serious financial implications as well. Individuals begin to neglect their responsibilities or are unable to perform well at work as a result of engaging in sexually addictive behaviors the night or morning before work. In some cases, addicts may even be engaging in sexual behaviors while at work, to the detriment of their duties. All of these instances of neglect will eventually add up, and employers will be left with no choice but to terminate the person.

Repeated warnings will not be enough for an addict to stop the neglectful behavior from continuing.
Another source of stress and financial burden comes from the expenses related to leading a double life as a sex addict. Just like gambling, alcohol and drug addictions, sex addiction can become quite costly. The costs of pornography, online sex chats, phone sex chat lines, prostitutes, strip clubs, adult videos and books and other sexually related goods can add up to huge debt for the sex addict. The burden of covering up these expenses combined with the looming debt will only add to the pressure the addict is experiencing while trying to keep his double life a secret.

Over time, this double life can lead to severe consequences such as divorce or loss of a house. Unfortunately, like any other addiction, the individual will need to make the decision to seek help, and it often takes serious consequences to convince a sex addict to get help. However, once the addict makes that decision, there are many effective programs that can lead him to lifelong recovery.

Married Sex: The Best of Your Life

Married sex can the best sex of your life because you are making love to your soul mate and not just any person. Let's face it, sex is very important in any marital relationship. As newlyweds, we may crave sex because of the physical pleasure that it brings us, but as you progress through the years in your marriage you may find that making love is more emotionally fulfilling than anything else.

Sex is a physical act that anyone can can enjoy, but making love is so much more than that. It creates an emotional and spiritual bond between you and your spouse that takes your love to the deepest level. It is one of the major steps in creating a marriage between two soul mates and not just two people.

Numerous studies over the years have shown that married couples who have sex frequently are more likely to have a long successful marriage compared to those couples who do not have sex very often. Obviously, this proves the point that married sex plays a vital role in having a solid marriage. So what are you waiting for? Get in that bedroom, or where ever enjoy making love, and express that love for your mate.

Okay, it might not be quite that easy for some of you. You may have some emotional baggage that you need to deal with either with your mate or within yourself. Let's see if we can help you work through some of these issues to improve your married sex life.

Sometimes the loss of intimacy and loss of those feelings of love and passion can be rekindled by going back to the basics. That might mean taking your spouse on a date and re-establishing those non-sexual feelings of love again. Dating your spouse might seem a bit unusual for couples who have been married a long time, but it is amazing how quickly two married partners are able to reconnect with those lost emotions. Once those emotions return married sex can become just as magical as it was in the first days after your wedding.

Just like in the early days of your relationship, romance is the key to keeping those passionate feelings alive and well in your marriage. Romance requires understanding your mate's non-sexual wants and needs. What makes them feel most loved? Is it an intimate love letter? A tender massage? Quiet talking time with them? Or some combination of all of this?

Romancing your mate is the ultimate seduction for a successful married sex life. The more you give to your mate what they want and need outside the bedroom, the more you will receive sexually. Be creative and have fun with this part of your relationship; you may want to challenge yourself to see how many different ways you can romance your mate, but be warned you may find you will be getting more sex than ever and you may need the little blue pill to keep up. Alright, that may be an exaggeration, but you can never show your mate enough love and attention.

Now let's talk about some important differences between men and women in what turns them on sexually. It is critical that you understand what turns on the opposite sex, specifically your spouse. Ladies, men are very visual. If you want to get them all hot and bothered then bring out the sexy lingerie, the bright red lipstick and strike that passionate pose. There is nothing that gets a man turned on more than bright colors, sexy clothing and a gorgeous woman, his wife, passionately pursuing him. Remember, he is visual creature so show him what you have to offer.

Also ladies, your husband loves when you are the sexually aggressive one from time-to-time. When they only get sex when they ask for it or when they make the first move, they begin to feel less fulfillment in their married sex life. They become more vulnerable to sexual flirting from the cutie at work or the neighborhood bar. Don't let this happen by taking a few simple acts of sexual aggression toward your mate. A man absolutely loves for his wife to be seductive and sexy, so bring it on ladies.

Gentlemen, your wife is very different than you when it comes to firing up the passion. Women tend to be very verbal. They want to hear how beautiful they are and how much you love them. You have to express your feelings out loud and let her hear those sweet nothings. They also want to be touched gently before the "main event" begins. Give your wife a soothing, sensual massage, then you can almost guarantee yourself a wild night of married sexual fun and fulfillment.

Your married sex life does not have to become boring or almost non-existent. Instead, it can be just as hot and steamy as it was in the newlywed days when you could never get enough of each other. Be attentive to your spouse's needs and you will find your sexual wants and desires will be fulfilled too.

 

 

Do You Know Someone With A Sex Addiction?

Sex is not a comfortable topic for many people, even though talk about it has become more open and relaxed. People may speak freely of their sexual experiences and particular taste, but what remains taboo are the sexual problems of individuals. Men find talking to their doctors about erectile dysfunction problematic, so it's not surprising that confronting another person about their possible sex addiction would be even more challenging and awkward.

Many addicts choose to seek help from a licensed professional, an expert in the field. However, sex addiction is probably a subject most comfortably discussed among family, closes friends and spouses. For the moment let's address the issue from the friend and family point of view.

Here are some signs a person you know might have a sex addiction:

1. Is their sexual behavior leading to problems?

Are pregnancy scares a common thing for them? Have they caught or transmitted an STD? Being careless about safe sex, having random sex, or having multiple partners are signs of sex addiction. These behaviors show the person has placed fulfillment of sexual needs above all other priorities. Are they putting themselves at risk for problems as a result of their sexual behavior? Sex in the workplace creates a risk of being fired, as does masturbation and viewing pornography while on the job. Even if this is done off site during a lunch hour, these activities show a lack of control and the inability to separate appropriate and inappropriate behaviors.

Some other problems not as tangible, and not as easy to see, are ones involving how much time an individual spends on sex. Oftentimes, the addict will cancel plans to go out or visit, preferring to stay in to watch porn, and/or masturbate. People with an addiction to porn will spend inordinate amounts of time watching videos and films, excluding family and friends. Have they given up hobbies they once enjoyed? Stopped going out on weekends? Maybe you used to talk to them often and they haven't been as available recently?

What might be more visible are their romantic relationships. Do they bounce from one person to another in rapid succession? Are they having a series of "one-night stands? While there is no definitive amount of time one should devote to sex, or a way to measure how much sex is "normal," if someone you know seems like he or she is only in a relationship for the sex, and have been frustrated in forming a real bond, that could be a sign of addiction.

Keep in mind one can be "addicted to love." The act of seduction and the rush of brain chemicals produced when a relationship is in its early stages can form a sex addiction. While men and women can suffer this, female sex addicts are more likely to exhibit this behavior. It may not involve actual sex, but a person who is constantly starting new relationships (sometimes before the previous one ends) or flirts excessively may be showing signs of sex addiction.

2. Do they often talk about sex?

People tend to discuss subjects of interest to them, daily occurrences or events they have experienced. Is your friend bringing up pornography often in idle conversation? Such talk between friends is normal, but note how often the individual talks about it. Does it seem like that is the only thing he or she has to discuss? Are sex and pornography the only topics that seem to peak this person's interest or gets the individual animated? It is possible that's all he or she talks about because it's all that person has to talk about. A porn addict can spend the bulk of his or her free time viewing pornography, leaving them with little else to speak of in conversation.

This can be tricky; each person is different, as is each friendship. A person addicted to sex may not talk about it, feeling shame and guilt, or they may bring it up at inappropriate times.

Note things other than speech, too. Having a poster of an attractive model in one's room is common. Having one's screen saver set to show hardcore pornography might be cause for concern. Do they have pornographic backgrounds on their mobile phones? Inappropriate ring tones? While these may be signs of mere tastelessness, they can also be signs of this addiction.

3. Have they brought up sex addiction in conversation?

Many sex addicts suffer from this addiction for a long time before suspecting they have it, and then a longer time before they stop denying it. If they've broached the subject of sex addiction, they may be testing the waters, so to speak, to see how you will react. Many sex addicts feel ashamed of themselves and keep their addiction a secret for fear they will lose friends. It's not likely they will admit to having a sex addiction, but they may ask you your opinion on it, or talk more in depth about a high profile celebrity claiming to suffer from the issue. They may even mock the notion of sex addiction, feeling you suspect them of it and wanting to alleviate your suspicions.

How you feel about sex addiction is up to you, but most people taking this approach are scared and looking for support and your reaction could affect their choice in receiving professional help.
For spouses and romantic partners, you have a more intimate knowledge of the suspected sex addict than anyone else. Some things you should look for if you suspect your significant other may be suffering from this addiction are:

· Are they becoming more demanding about sex with you?

If is fairly normal for two people in a couple to have differing libidos. It's also pretty common for sex to put a strain on a relationship. How your partner reacts to being told "no" and how insistent is he/she on the subject of sex is an example of where red flags may appear. An addict in need of a substance can become highly agitated when they don't get it. Spousal rape is a real thing, and just because they didn't coerce you into sex with force doesn't mean there wasn't a transgression. A sex addict can exploit the power dynamic in a relationship, threaten to do something negative, or withhold something from their spouse to get sex. If they've resorted to these harmful behaviors, oblivious to the emotional damage being caused, that's a sign of addiction.

· Are they going somewhere else for sex?

Being unfaithful doesn't necessarily mean your partner is a sex addict, but it is certainly one indication, especially if this isn't the first time. While this may be a sign of a troubled marriage, if the bond between you is otherwise strong, the infidelity may be sue to the addiction. An addict craves the physical act of sex, or the intoxicating feeling of a new relationship, they are not necessarily in love with the other person or not in love with you. Often, addicts aren't even interested in the act of sex, but in the repetitive behavior that leads up to the act, creating the dopamine levels the addict craves.

Remember, pornography and masturbation are sex acts. Is your spouse on the computer in the early morning hours before work? Do they hide large amounts of pornography on the computer? Are they less interested in sex with you? How you feel about some masturbation and pornography use is up to you. Some levels of self-gratification and porn are not detrimental, but if the use of these sex acts is at a point of contention, and your partner hasn't given it up, that's a sign they're dealing with an unhealthy compulsion.

It is important to realize that only the addict himself/herself can really know the depths of their addiction and it is the individual that must realize he or she is suffering before treatment and recovery can be sought.

 

 

How Does The First Step To Recovery From Sex Addiction Work?

Sex addiction is characterized by behavior that becomes progressively more damaging and eventually leads to a life that is completely unmanageable by the addict. Despite the mounting evidence in their lives, it can be incredibly difficult for individuals who find themselves in the grip of sex addiction, to admit there is a problem. For most people caught in any addiction, there is a period in which the addict remains convinced that with a little more effort, or with one last attempt, the addiction can be bested. Unfortunately for the truly addicted person this simply is not true.

One of the most effective methods to overcoming this addiction is through engagement in a twelve step program. Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) is one such program that offers worldwide anonymous meetings for people working to recover from sex addiction, as well as accountability, sponsorship, and an important support network of empathetic individuals. The First Step in SAA reads, "We admitted we were powerless over addictive sexual behavior - that our lives had become unmanageable."

It is believed that it is only by recognizing the inability to stop the behaviors associated with this addiction that the addict can hope to actually stop. This realization requires addicts to look outside of themselves for the necessary support and accountability that is so vital to a successful recovery. An individual struggling with this issue is often unable to be truly open and honest without the support of an outside viewpoint. For this reason, the first of the twelve steps to recovery is one that is taken publicly, whether it be one-on-one with a sponsor or in front of a meeting; it is not at all a private or solitary step.

The First Step to sex addiction recovery is not about making changes in the life of the addict. It is about facing and telling the truth about the addictive behaviors and their consequences. There are several ways that this First Step to recovery can be taken by the addict.

During identification at an anonymous meeting. At most meetings of twelve step organizations there is a time in the beginning for members to greet one another and introduce themselves. Generally, the statement goes something like, "Hi, my name is Tom and I'm a sex addict." This can often be the first time an addict has admitted those words out loud. In doing so, he or she is acknowledging powerlessness over the disease.

With a sponsor - Some addicts might prefer to take the First Step away from the comparative formality of an official group meeting. They may decide to share with their sponsor or other close friends from the program they are involved with. The addict may not yet be ready to tell his or her story in front of strangers, but still need to admit the truth in a safe, public environment.

Informal First Step - This is generally a brief presentation made to the group during a scheduled meeting in which addicts share some highlights from their life of sex addiction. This mini First Step to sex addiction recovery is generally about 2 to 5 minutes long.

Formal First Step - In a formal First Step to sex addiction recovery, addicts share with their group the details of their behavior and the consequences from it. This is done as a tool to illustrate fully the powerlessness the addict has over his or her behavior and the unmanageably of life as an addict. These presentations can last anywhere from 10 minutes to most of the scheduled meeting time, depending upon the group and individual circumstances.

During recovery from a slip - Some people working through the process of recovery from sex addiction find that it is helpful to return to the First Step to sex addiction recovery after slipping up and engaging in behavior associated with their sex addiction. Generally this involves admitting the slip to the group, acknowledging powerlessness over the addiction, and focusing on the details of what might have led to the slip in the first place.

After the initial First Step, using one or more of the methods above, the addict will likely revisit this admission of powerlessness many times throughout recovery. It is important that the addict remember daily his or her inability to manage sex addiction; not doing so runs the risk of the addict becoming self-deceived and believing that he or she is able to manage this disease alone.

 

 

Causes and Treatment of Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile Dysfunction

It refers to the inability of a male to sustain erection consistently and repeatedly. It is a common problem and is reported that it affects around 18-30 million men. It exerts considerable effects on the quality of life. Most of the time people are reluctant to talk about it to others even to doctors. This is why it is important to address this problem openly.

What are the mechanics of erectile dysfunction?

The penis contains two cylinder-shaped chambers called corpora cavernosa which runs along the length of the penis. They contain arteries which bring the blood to the penis and veins which take the blood away from the penis. When there is sexual stimulation either physically or mentally our brain sends a message to the nerves in the penis to cause the relaxation of the penile arteries. This increases the blood flow to the penis making it stiff and hard, thus achieving erection.There is simultaneous contraction of specialized muscles located in the penis which compresses the veins and reduces the outflow of blood from the penis thereby helping to sustain erection.
This is clear now that anything that interferes with the either nerve impulses anywhere from the brain down to the penis or anything that limits the blood flow to the penis can result in erectile dysfunction.

Causes of Erectile Dysfunction

Most of the people consider it as a psychological problem. However it is not the case. Although psychological factors are involved in the causation of ED but mostly we do have any underlying physical cause of ED.

Physical Conditions Leading To ED

1. Vascular diseases

We understand that it is the increased blood flow to the penis that helps us achieve erection. Thus any vascular diseases which impair the blood flow to the penis will make it difficult to get erection. They include atherosclerosis, high blood pressure and increased levels of cholesterols.

2. Diabetes

Males suffering from diabetes mellitus usually experience erectile dysfunction at some point of life particularly when they don't have an optimum sugar control. The erectile dysfunction associated with diabetes is attributed to damage to blood vessels as well as nerves.

3. Neurologic Disorder

For adequate erection we require proper functioning of our nerves as well as brain. This is why any disorder that interferes with the functions of brain or nerves can cause erectile dysfunction. They include conditions such as Stroke Multiple sclerosis and Alzheimer's disease.

4. Lifestyle

There are some lifestyle choices which can increase the risk of erectile dysfunction. They include smoking, drinking and drug abuse. The do so by interfering with the blood supply of the penis.

5. Trauma

Trauma to the blood vessels and nerve supplying the penis can also cause erectile dysfunction. The importance of trauma as a cause of erectile dysfunction has been implicated in people who have been riding bicycle for longer period of times. This is because bicycle seat can put constant pressure on the vessels and nerves supplying the penis thereby damaging them and resulting in erectile dysfunction.

6. Medications

There are certain drugs that can cause erectile dysfunction. They include medications used to lower blood pressure and also some antidepressant. The irony is depression and high blood pressure are some of the causes of erectile dysfunction and the drugs you are using to treat these conditions also cause erectile dysfunction. This is why it is important for you to talk to you doctor if you are on any medications and you start having problems with the erection.

7. Surgery

Mostly older people above the age of 50 have problems with erection. This is the age when people also present with enlargement of the prostate and even with prostate cancer. They require surgeries for these conditions and during surgery the nerves supplying the penis might be damaged resulting in erectile dysfunction.

Psychiatric Conditions Leading To ED

The brain is involved in achieving erection as well as pleasure and excitement associated with sex so any problem that interferes with functioning of brain can cause ED. Psychiatric conditions are responsible for only about 10-15%of the cases of ED. They include
• Stress
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Low-self esteem

How to Treat Erectile Dysfunction?

1. Lifestyle changes

There are certain life style changes which can help in the improvement of sexual function. They include cessation of smoking, exercise and weight loss.

2. Medications

There is this famous drug called sildenafil which is well known as Viagra. It is not the only drug, rather there is a whole class of drugs called phosphodiestrase inhibitors. The other important medications included in this group are Vardenafil ( Levita, Stxyn), Tadalafil (Cialis) and Avanafil (Stendra)

3. Vacuum Pumps

They are specialized devices containing a cylinder and a pump. The penis is placed in the cylinder and pump is used to draw the air out of the pump creating a cylinder. This increases the blood flow to the penis. In order to maintain the erection an elastic band is worn around the base of penis.

4. Surgery

If the erectile dysfunction is due to blockage of the artery supplying the penis especially in younger patients we can surgically restore that blood flow. The other things we can do surgically is place an implant in there. This implant is filled with the pressurized fluid whenever erection is required.

5. Psychotherapy

Erectile dysfunction is a complex problem to deal with. Therefore it is important for you to realize that you have to involve your partner and talk to a doctor if you want to get out of this troublesome situation. The other important issue to keep in mind is to avoid any self-medication at all as it might have lethal outcome.

Learning to Adjust to Life Following a Stroke

Statistics indicate that strokes are often life-altering. Sadly, fifteen percent will die, twenty-five percent will recover with only minor impairment and ten percent will almost completely recover. But the rest, fifty percent, will require some type of care.

There are huge challenges in adjusting to the effects of a stroke. There will likely be fear, apprehension, uncertainty and usually life changes. It will be important for the stroke sufferer to gain some control over his/her life and to work towards independence. They will need to work diligently to improve their emotional and physical well-being by thinking positively. It will be important for them to remain positive as expectations, by necessity, will be altered.

Adaptations will have to be made to overcome limitations. Practicing daily will be necessary as continual effort will have a cumulative effect on their abilities. It will be important to set goals, to do things they enjoy, to be social and to try new things. It will be important also to accept the many changes in their life and to adjust to how their stroke affects other people. It will be natural to initially fear the future because strokes affect the body, mind and emotions.

Following a stroke there may be some paralysis, weakness in the limbs, difficulties with balance or language, pain or vague sensations of feeling in their body, cognitive and memory problems, feelings of frustration, feeling a sense of loss, difficulties with bowel or bladder control, fatigue, trouble swallowing or difficulty maintaining their hygiene. There may also be depression. It will be important to seek help if depression is suspected.

In some cases brain cells may be only temporarily damaged. In other cases, different areas of the brain will take over from the damaged areas. Rehabilitation will play a large part in helping the stroke patient. Goal setting will also be important. And as with everything, a proper diet is necessary.

It will be important for either the stroke-impaired person or his/her caregiver to ask questions regarding their care, to allow him/her to express their wishes and opinions and to be made a partner in their own health care. It will be important to keep them informed and to encourage them to join a stroke support group.

Special equipment may also be required following a stroke, i.e.: a cane, walker, wheelchair, orthotic devices or communication aids. There are also services available such as meals on wheels and transportation services.

Adjusting to the effects of a stroke will be different for each stroke survivor because like every brain injury, each stroke is different also. A lot will depend on the attitude of the survivor and how hard he/she is willing to work at rehabilitation. It will also depend on the severity of the stroke and where it was. Whether there is a family member and/or caregiver available to assist with follow-up care and rehabilitation will make a difference too in both physical recovery and a positive attitude.

What To Do For Panic Attacks

Have you ever wondered why you are prone to having Panic Attacks? Suddenly the intensity of fear increases causing you to have unwanted and uncontrollable emotional and physical sensation. You feel like you can't escape the thoughts of death and other negative emotions. You feel a numb sensation all over your body as well as nausea that makes you feel like you are about to faint.

Panic attacks have a debilitating effect on a person and the scenario explained above becomes part of your daily life. It feels as if you are having a heart attack or a nervous breakdown. Your inability to take control of your thoughts and emotions causes this phenomenon.

According to DSM-IV (Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders), "The essential feature of a Panic Attack is a discrete period of intense fear or discomfort that is accompanied by at least 4 of 13 somatic or cognitive symptoms". "The attack has a sudden onset and builds to a peak rapidly (usually in 10 minutes or less)."
The 13 somatic or cognitive symptoms of Panic Attacks are as follows:

• Palpitation
• Sweating
• Trembling or shaking
• Shortness of breath or smothering
• Feeling of choking
• Chest pain or discomfort
• Nausea or abdominal distress
• Feeling dizzy or lightheaded
• Feelings of unreality or depersonalization
• Fear of losing control or going crazy
• Fear of dying
• Numbness or tingling sensations
• Chills or hot flashes

If left untreated, anxiety can lead to many psychological disorders. There are three characteristics types of Panic Attacks with different relationships between the onset of the panic attack and the presence or absence of situational triggers:

• Unexpected (i.e., occurring spontaneously "out of the blue")
• Situationally bound (e.g., seeing a snake or a dog always triggers an immediate panic)
• Situationally predisposed (e.g., attacks are more likely to occur while driving).

The attacks can start anywhere and anytime, and it could have an undesirable impact on your reputation and/or self-image. You can stop Panic and Anxiety from affecting your well-being and quality of life. There are many techniques and resources that teach you how to deal with these situations.

The Internet is one of the best sources to gain information and increase your knowledge of what to do when you have an attack. Many people experience feelings of panic due to challenge that every day life presents us with. People get tired, stressed, and can lose ability to cope with certain situations which can easily trigger Panic Attacks and Anxiety. You need to get yourself familiar with various treatments for these Panic Disorders. Do a search on the Internet, and you will find a ton of resources that will help you finally cure your Panic Disorders. There are many natural techniques such as:

• Breathing exercises
• Yoga
• Herbal Remedies
• Relaxation therapy
• Cognitive behavioral techniques

As we mentioned, Panic Disorders can cause serious health problems, you need to arm yourself with as much information and knowledge as possible on how to deal and overcome them. Since the symptoms of these attacks, as well as dealing with this disorder is a huge challenge. We would like to provide you with the much-needed support. There are certain assessments and diagnostics that you can use to assess your Panic Disorder. Improve your quality of life by learning to deal with this debilitating disorder!

What To Do When Discovering Your Partner Has A Sex Addiction

Sex Addiction IS a disease!

Sex addiction is a disease and it is crucial to understand it as such. Sex addicts struggle just as much as alcoholics and drug addicts do; their addiction is just different. Once you understand this addiction in terms of being a disease, it becomes easier to learn about it effectively.

We highly recommend you do some extensive reading. It will help you to better understand the disease of sex addiction from an outside perspective. There are many helpful articles, videos and webinars online, as well as published books, reports and pamphlets.

There are some books that you should read in order to reach a better understanding of the problem. Patrick Carnes' Don't Call It Love: Recovery from Sexual Addiction is universally acclaimed and praised for being the capstone of all books on sex addiction. In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior by Patrick Carnes, David Delmonico, Elizabeth Griffin, and Joseph Moriarty is an especially great pick if the addict in your life indulges in online behaviors, ranging from porn to sex chat rooms and anything in between. Jennifer Schneider and Robert Weiss' Cybersex Exposed: Simple Fantasy or Obsession is another good choice if your partner indulges in sexually compulsive behaviors online.

Your first instinct may be to confront your partner, whether angrily or kindly. Step back for a moment and realize your attempts to talk right now, however good your intentions may be, might be interpreted as an attack. Your partner may not even realize their addiction yet, and your confrontation may be confusing and difficult to respond to. You will have time to talk later, but right now it is best to concentrate on understanding where you should go from here.

You may want to start gathering resources for when you decide to talk to your partner or when he or she realizes there is a real problem. Start by going to your county's mental health agency and finding out their resources for sex addicts. Find Twelve-Step programs and support groups in the area as well as search for online meetings, phone meetings and other resources. Keep this information, as you may need it later when your partner decides to get help. Don't push it on him or her, but offer it up if the search for help looks confusing and overwhelming.

If you feel that you need it, it may be a good idea to seek help for yourself in the form of a therapist or a support group. You don't have to do this alone. And you do not have to wait for your partner to get help before seeking therapy or treatment for yourself to deal with your own feelings.

Is Meditation Helpful During Recovery From Sex Addiction?

Many individuals who have successfully maintained long-term sobriety from sex addiction acknowledge their recovery is helped by the practice of daily meditation. If you would like to add this practice to your program of recovery from sex addiction, the information in this article will give you some basics to get started.

There are many different forms of meditation and, as with prayer, you are free to choose a practice that you are most comfortable with. You may find using a meditative practice from an established tradition suits your personal style, or you may prefer to create a method of your own to help you in your recovery from sex addiction.

Meditation is an opportunity to set aside the hectic activity and demands of daily life. It is a chance to turn your thoughts from the work and difficulty you may experience on your journey in recovery from sex addiction and to enjoy a period of calmness. While you may not feel any different during the time you set aside to meditate, you will find after some time, that the effects of this practice are more apparent in your day to day life. You might find you are able to respond to sex addiction triggers or difficult situations with a new level of calmness. You may find that you begin to think clearer and come to value yourself and your abilities in a new way.

If you choose to apply this effective practice to your recovery from sex addiction program, you'll probably have quite a few questions in the beginning. You might find it helpful to discuss meditation with other people that are sober from sex addiction and find out what has helped them maintain their sobriety. While meditation may be uncomfortable in the beginning, stick with it.

Meditation can take place anywhere. You may want to dedicate a particular room or seat in your house to the practice, or perhaps you would be more comfortable outside by a river or in a field. The classic meditation posture is to sit with legs folded and hands on the lap or knees, but whatever makes you the most comfortable is completely acceptable. You may find it helpful to keep your eyes open, leaving all of your senses open, or you may close your eyes, find what's best for you.

The goal of meditation is not to fall asleep but to be in a state of relaxed alertness. For most practices, you will want to keep your eyes open but unfocused on anything in particular. Many people in recovery from sex addiction find it most helpful to set aside a specific time each day to meditate.
To get you started, here are a few basic types of meditation practices. Choose which one of these works best for you and start slowly. Remember, any effort you make toward meditation will support your recovery from sex addiction.

Guided Meditation

Guided meditation is a technique that helps you to focus on and direct your imagination toward a conscious goal. While there are CDs and tapes available to assist with guided meditation, it is also possible to do yourself. Take time to imagine yourself free of sex addiction and living in healthy sexuality. Take the time and make a special place for your meditation practice and let others know you'll be meditating for a period of time and please not interrupt you.

Focus On Your Breath

This form of meditation is the most widely known. Exhale strongly a few times to start and then, once you begin, focus on your breathing alone. If your mind drifts, especially to thoughts of sex addiction, gently bring it back to the sensation of breathing in and of breathing out. It helps to just start by focusing on your in breath, breath in slowly and feel the oxygen filling up your lungs, counting as you inhale and then holding the breath for a second or two and then exhaling slowly with the goal of your exhale, twice as long as your inhale. So if you inhale for 6 seconds, you'd want to exhale for 12 seconds and repeat this a few times until you decide on how many times you want to practice.
 
Observe an Object

Allow your mind to rest on a particular object. This might be an image of your Higher Power or any other object that has meaning for you, and is not related to you sex addiction. It could simply be a spot on the wall, a tree, rock or any object to keep your attention fixed and not wandering.

Recite a Mantra

For this practice, choose a mantra that holds meaning for you within your understanding of God. You might wish to recite the rosary. Perhaps you'd prefer to recite the Serenity Prayer, a common prayer for those in recovery from sex addiction. You can simply ask your Higher Power for calmness, peace, serenity, or one I like to use from John Gray, "God, Higher Power, my heart is open to you, please come sit in my heart" Speak quietly and pay complete attention to the words you are saying and the breaths you are using.

Adding the practice of meditation into your daily life will help to keep you balanced throughout all of the ups and downs that life brings, both inside of your recovery from sex addiction and without. Begin with a few minutes a day and see if you can work your way up to a 20 minute period of meditation. You may soon begin to look forward to, and long for, this period of quiet and clarity away from your recovery from sex addiction.

Shape Your Life

Social Community

We all need a Social Community. As much as we would like to admit that we are strong and could get along fine without a social community that simply isn't so. Having a forum to speak your ideas and thoughts is vital to your health. We know that isolation often leads to depression. Depression often leads to physical illness and can lead to self destructive behavior, including suicide.

Depression: n. Psychol. An emotional state of mind characterized by feelings of gloom and inadequacy, leading to withdrawal. Depression is a mental state of excessive sadness characterized by persistently low mood, loss of pleasure and interest.

Social communities, be it friends, families or traditional support groups, enhance our lives. For those who feel the need to communicate about a specific problem, support groups can be a means of healing. Often those who are going through similar problems feel great strength in numbers. The reason being is that it helps to know that you are not the only one suffering. It is also a place where you can get first hand knowledge about your problem or issue.

 Support groups also give you an opportunity to give back. Find and embrace a support group. They are everywhere and they are for everything from AIDS to cancer to divorce or simple self improvement. Having a community who can identify with your illness and pain will give you that sense that you are not alone. It also affords you the opportunity to gain experience from the other members in the group (such as surgery/surgeons, medicine and health professional). Support groups are great for giving and receiving information and support.

"It is in giving that we receive".

As we give of our self, we gain power over our own life (or situation). This is because we lose focus on our own problem and concentrate on someone else's. Something miraculous happens when we give of ourselves. If you want to feel better, try giving more. This is one of the most universal truths there is. Your perception and attitude seem to shape your life.

Love Yourself

Loving your self starts with a healthy thought pattern. Knowing who you are and what you will allow in your life says a lot about self love. Studies suggest that eighty percent of what we are today is a result of what we learned between the ages of 8-12. Most of what we want to change can be traced back to our self image. At birth we have no self image.

 As we grow we respond to our environment. We learn what feels good and bad, our senses start to form. Our minds begin to take in the words we hear over and over again. Repetition is vital at this age. What are the words we are hearing? Are they directed at us or others? Are we learning to be honest and whole or are we learning to build a defense mechanism? This is where your self image is created.

As we grow older we take on certain personality traits. We just do not decide to be one way or another. We learn them. We are a product of our environment and our genetics. We can not do anything about our genes, but we can do something about what we picked up along the way. What we decided to own as our own. What to believe and how to act. This is so important to understand. You need to realize that what you are today and how you think today is really what you were taught as a child. So, what does that exactly have to do with change? First, you need only to ask yourself why you want change. You want change because how you feel does not feel right. It does not feel right because you probably are working with a thought pattern that is not your own. And if that is not your thought pattern, then questions of who you are will soon follow.

Your self image and self worth are really all you have. If you do not believe in yourself, then all that surrounds you and all that you have are only possessions that define you. Most of what we want to change can be traced back to our self image. You are not your possessions. You are your thoughts.

Your thoughts make you. Knowing how you want to live and what you want to have is your process, not your person. Start today and ask yourself questions like, "what will really make me happy," and, "who am I". Often when I teach a course and I ask the students who they are. I hear things like I am, and then they say their job. I point out that they are not their job. That is what they do. Who you are is your essence. And it will be totally different for every person in that room. And it should be. You are your thoughts. So when you want to create change, be sure you know what you want. The old saying, be careful of what you ask for, is so true. Material possessions are nice, but unless you are happy with yourself, then they will only bring short term happiness.

First Responders, Secondary Trauma and Suicide

I have spent my adult life as a responder, a fixer. People call us because they are sick, hurt, bored and sometimes even in real trouble. I have received a great deal of training and education learning how to help people. In all of that training no one ever taught me anything about how to help myself or take care of myself.

It turns out that the career field I chose - firefighter, paramedic, rescuer can have a significant impact. Not just a physical impact, although I have had my share of that. I am speaking about emotional and psychological impact.

First Responder suicides are on the rise. I am going to a funeral today for a brother firefighter that took his life. To have an understanding of this subject we have to understand some terminology:

• Secondary Trauma (ST) is defined as "the stress resulting from helping or wanting to help a traumatized or suffering person". That definition is OK. It is not enough of an explanation. Secondary trauma is what you suffer by being a part of someone else's trauma. A person can only take so much of that suffering (theirs and yours) and it begins to take a toll. Especially if you are not aware of the impact ST has and you are not prepared with tools to cope.

• Vicarious Trauma (VT) is defined as "bearing witness to another's trauma". Very similar to secondary trauma. Many people use these terms interchangeably. In My Opinion secondary trauma is more applicable when you are participating in an event but you are not a victim. i.e. a paramedic caring for a dying child. Vicarious trauma would apply more to someone that was aware of or present for the trauma. This is my definition and not from the Diagnostic & Statistics Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).

• Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is defined as:

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) will be included in a new chapter in DSM-5 on Trauma- and Stress­or-Related Disorders. This move from DSM-IV, which addressed PTSD as an anxiety disorder, is among several changes approved for this condition that is increasingly at the center of public as well as profes­sional discussion.

The diagnostic criteria for the manual's next edition identify the trigger to PTSD as exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury or sexual violation. The exposure must result from one or more of the following scenarios, in which the individual:

• Directly experiences the traumatic event
• Witnesses the traumatic event in person
• Learns that the traumatic event occurred to a close family member or close friend (with the actual or threatened death being either violent or accidental)
• Experiences first-hand repeated or extreme exposure to the details of the traumatic event (not through media, pictures, television or movies unless work-related)
The disturbance, regardless of its trigger, causes clinically significant distress or impairment in the indi­vidual's social interactions, capacity to work or other important areas of functioning. It is not the physi­ological result of another medical condition, medication, drugs or alcohol.

As you just read the definition does not require that you are a victim of a significant or a horrific event. Just being a witness can have serious consequences. As a First Responder you are more than a witness. We become active participants. Even when there is a good outcome your personal stability cab be seriously impacted. Believe me. I know.

How can you tell if you are suffering from Secondary Trauma? Here are some things that you should be aware of:

· Sleep disturbance (I spent the better part of six years not sleeping)
· Drug and/or alcohol use and abuse

o You don't have to be a heroin addict prescription drugs work just fine

o Drinking is just something we did (and still do) to deal with bad calls, loss of friends etc.

· Relationship troubles
· Isolation

o When you don't want to do anything or be with anyone

· Anger
· Intrusive thoughts
· Chronic fatigue
· Sadness
· Poor concentration
· Second guessing
· Detachment
· Emotional exhaustion
· Fearfulness
· Shame
· Physical illness
· Absenteeism

For a First Responder Secondary Trauma is inevitable. We need to spread the word and increase awareness. Even though secondary trauma is inevitable it need not be fatal. Indeed it is possible to live with secondary trauma. It is absolutely critical that we learn to live with our trauma.