Recovering from sex addiction is a process, and a long one. Those
seeking a quick fix will not find one, and may slip back into their
addiction cycles for a time before coming to realize it.
The first step to real recovery is not just admitting you have a problem. Sex addiction involves a person engaging in sex acts compulsively, and being unable or unwilling to recognize negative consequences stemming from their actions. When an addict finally realizes his or her life is out of control and that negative consequences are showing up as a direct result of sexually obsessive and compulsive behaviors, the addict either make a change and get help or uses the shame and anguish to continue to act out more on unwanted sexual behaviors. The sexual behaviors, often called acting out, are usually as a result of medicating unwanted feelings or to fill a voice in the addict's live. This begins what is called the cycle of addiction.
True recovery begins when an individual admits s/he needs help and does not have the ability to stop without help. A sex addict may be able to refrain from sex for short periods of time, but in the end his or her willpower breaks down, and the addict will indulge, sometimes at higher levels than normal. If a sex addict was able to halt the behavior with no help, it would mean is wasn't a real addicted to begin with.
In a perfect world, a sex addict, after recognizing what they need to do, would enter treatment, be it a rehab facility or counseling, and would follow the steps given and work to get their sexual behavior back to a manageable level.
Of course the world is not perfect, and so someone in recovery should expect (but not ignore or write off) some slips and stalls along the way. A good therapist, and any good rehab program, recognize there will challenges, temptations, slips, and falls. Failure only comes when sex addicts give up and give themselves over to the addiction cycle.
The recovery program for this addiction looks a lot like alcoholism recovery, and many addiction treatments are modeled after the programs developed to treat alcoholism. A 12-step program is involved, along with giving oneself over to a higher power. Recovering from sex addiction requires admitting powerlessness, but that in turn acknowledges a source of power.
For some, the use of religion in therapy can be a challenge. If a person is not particularly inclined to believe in religion, they may be skeptical about its ability to help them. One of the reasons religion has been used is simply because it works. Any religion can be used, as most have standards concerning sexual activity; for the more secular minded, a "higher power" can be a power other than religion. By transferring power and authority to this third party some weight is added to the sex addict's mind. The higher power is above their therapist and above themselves, and can be used as something to focus on during rough periods.
A sex addict may work with therapists to come up with a new set of rules to follow designed to curb their indulgence. While "no porn" and "no masturbation" are some obvious rules, an addict may have other boundaries outlined for themselves as well. For example, if they have a spouse, there may have a rule saying they must tell their spouse when they are going to use the computer for any reason and when they stop using the computer. If they cheat, even a little, they record this as a slip which they talk about in therapy and with those helping them through their addiction.
Slips can be dangerous as they thwart the progress of the addict. Sex addicts can fully indulge in any of their old addictive behaviors and then feel great levels of shame and remorse or feeling like a failure.
The addict has been using their sexual behaviors to numb their feelings or to find something they've been longing for. They keep themselves stuck in trying to bury feelings that will not be processed properly when using sex to medicate or numb their feelings. Once a strong support system is in place and they begin to have faith in a program of recovery, they will begin to recognize they are using sex for the above purposes and find alternative methods to get help.
A person can reach and comfortably maintain a healthy level of sexual activity. Often an addict's behavior is being driven by some other problem, and until that one is addressed they may run the risk of slipping back into sex addiction.
The first step to real recovery is not just admitting you have a problem. Sex addiction involves a person engaging in sex acts compulsively, and being unable or unwilling to recognize negative consequences stemming from their actions. When an addict finally realizes his or her life is out of control and that negative consequences are showing up as a direct result of sexually obsessive and compulsive behaviors, the addict either make a change and get help or uses the shame and anguish to continue to act out more on unwanted sexual behaviors. The sexual behaviors, often called acting out, are usually as a result of medicating unwanted feelings or to fill a voice in the addict's live. This begins what is called the cycle of addiction.
True recovery begins when an individual admits s/he needs help and does not have the ability to stop without help. A sex addict may be able to refrain from sex for short periods of time, but in the end his or her willpower breaks down, and the addict will indulge, sometimes at higher levels than normal. If a sex addict was able to halt the behavior with no help, it would mean is wasn't a real addicted to begin with.
In a perfect world, a sex addict, after recognizing what they need to do, would enter treatment, be it a rehab facility or counseling, and would follow the steps given and work to get their sexual behavior back to a manageable level.
Of course the world is not perfect, and so someone in recovery should expect (but not ignore or write off) some slips and stalls along the way. A good therapist, and any good rehab program, recognize there will challenges, temptations, slips, and falls. Failure only comes when sex addicts give up and give themselves over to the addiction cycle.
The recovery program for this addiction looks a lot like alcoholism recovery, and many addiction treatments are modeled after the programs developed to treat alcoholism. A 12-step program is involved, along with giving oneself over to a higher power. Recovering from sex addiction requires admitting powerlessness, but that in turn acknowledges a source of power.
For some, the use of religion in therapy can be a challenge. If a person is not particularly inclined to believe in religion, they may be skeptical about its ability to help them. One of the reasons religion has been used is simply because it works. Any religion can be used, as most have standards concerning sexual activity; for the more secular minded, a "higher power" can be a power other than religion. By transferring power and authority to this third party some weight is added to the sex addict's mind. The higher power is above their therapist and above themselves, and can be used as something to focus on during rough periods.
A sex addict may work with therapists to come up with a new set of rules to follow designed to curb their indulgence. While "no porn" and "no masturbation" are some obvious rules, an addict may have other boundaries outlined for themselves as well. For example, if they have a spouse, there may have a rule saying they must tell their spouse when they are going to use the computer for any reason and when they stop using the computer. If they cheat, even a little, they record this as a slip which they talk about in therapy and with those helping them through their addiction.
Slips can be dangerous as they thwart the progress of the addict. Sex addicts can fully indulge in any of their old addictive behaviors and then feel great levels of shame and remorse or feeling like a failure.
The addict has been using their sexual behaviors to numb their feelings or to find something they've been longing for. They keep themselves stuck in trying to bury feelings that will not be processed properly when using sex to medicate or numb their feelings. Once a strong support system is in place and they begin to have faith in a program of recovery, they will begin to recognize they are using sex for the above purposes and find alternative methods to get help.
A person can reach and comfortably maintain a healthy level of sexual activity. Often an addict's behavior is being driven by some other problem, and until that one is addressed they may run the risk of slipping back into sex addiction.
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