The difference between what someone wants and what someone needs
is important to understand if one wishes to comprehend sex addiction.
To just think sex addicts are people who simply lack self-control or morals is at best a severe over-simplification, if not a falsehood. Addicts, through their behavior, lose their spouses, families, jobs, reputations, and in some cases their freedom if their actions are illegal. While this addiction can not be blamed on every or even most cases where these problems have arisen, there is a large group of people who find themselves in a pattern of engaging in harmful sexual activity who are otherwise "good" people. Saying these folks lack a moral compass or self-control doesn't quite add up.
Want versus need can best be understood once you realize what happens in the brain when a person, addict or otherwise, engages in sex. Euphoria inducing chemicals like dopamine, are released and met with receivers in the brain. This creates a pleasant feeling beyond the physical rush. It triggers a state where a person feels relaxed and rewarded. Many drugs produce similar effects as do other behaviors such as working out, eating or gambling, each being known to form into addiction in certain people with predispositions to it.
The chemical release is how our brains reward behaviors. It's a mechanism that's developed over time to reward us for doing things that keep us alive -Such as eating- and reproducing -Such as sex.- It's not a perfect system and in an era with sex almost everywhere it can get distorted and become sex addiction.
Eating is a good example of how need works. We all want to eat of course, just as we want sex. If we refrain from eating we get hungry. How long can you go without eating a meal or a snack? Assuming you're not sick or under some stress after about a day most complain of "starving" and being "famished." Of course the body can go much longer than a day without food but the sensation is unpleasant to say the least. One doesn't "want" food so much as they "need" food. The brain knows this and doesn't let up. It has ways of driving the body to get what it needs, ignoring all other considerations. Even the strictest "health nuts" might look twice at a fast food restaurant if they had gone without food for a day or two.
This is to some degree what a sex addict experiences. Addicts can hold off from sex for a short time if they need to but while they're doing that their feelings of inadequacy, frustration, and depression can build all while their brains are driving them to seek sex. Individuals suffering from this problem need to seek help through therapy or a 12 step program.
To just think sex addicts are people who simply lack self-control or morals is at best a severe over-simplification, if not a falsehood. Addicts, through their behavior, lose their spouses, families, jobs, reputations, and in some cases their freedom if their actions are illegal. While this addiction can not be blamed on every or even most cases where these problems have arisen, there is a large group of people who find themselves in a pattern of engaging in harmful sexual activity who are otherwise "good" people. Saying these folks lack a moral compass or self-control doesn't quite add up.
Want versus need can best be understood once you realize what happens in the brain when a person, addict or otherwise, engages in sex. Euphoria inducing chemicals like dopamine, are released and met with receivers in the brain. This creates a pleasant feeling beyond the physical rush. It triggers a state where a person feels relaxed and rewarded. Many drugs produce similar effects as do other behaviors such as working out, eating or gambling, each being known to form into addiction in certain people with predispositions to it.
The chemical release is how our brains reward behaviors. It's a mechanism that's developed over time to reward us for doing things that keep us alive -Such as eating- and reproducing -Such as sex.- It's not a perfect system and in an era with sex almost everywhere it can get distorted and become sex addiction.
Eating is a good example of how need works. We all want to eat of course, just as we want sex. If we refrain from eating we get hungry. How long can you go without eating a meal or a snack? Assuming you're not sick or under some stress after about a day most complain of "starving" and being "famished." Of course the body can go much longer than a day without food but the sensation is unpleasant to say the least. One doesn't "want" food so much as they "need" food. The brain knows this and doesn't let up. It has ways of driving the body to get what it needs, ignoring all other considerations. Even the strictest "health nuts" might look twice at a fast food restaurant if they had gone without food for a day or two.
This is to some degree what a sex addict experiences. Addicts can hold off from sex for a short time if they need to but while they're doing that their feelings of inadequacy, frustration, and depression can build all while their brains are driving them to seek sex. Individuals suffering from this problem need to seek help through therapy or a 12 step program.
http://www.OnSexAddiction.com
helps individuals struggling with Sex Addiction, Porn Addiction,
Compulsive Masturbation, other dangerous sexual behaviors, and the
consequences of those addictions, get sober and into recovery so they
can lead richer, fuller, more successful and healthy lives. We provide
information, resources, articles, videos, CDs, DVDs, seminars,
conferences, and membership sites to help individuals better understand
what sex addiction is and how to deal with it.
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