The Dreaded "S" Word - Suicide

The common myth is that suicide is the most selfish act someone can commit. That's nonsense. People typically don't commit suicide until the pain of living becomes greater than the pain of dying, and nothing they've tried has worked. In fact, it generally makes perfect sense when viewed from their life perspective.
So let's take the unhelpful judgment out of it and look seriously at the factors involved in suicide. Much can be said about the risk factors and common means; this is just an overview.
First, let's look at some risk factors of suicide. Naturally, not all will apply in every situation. (**VERY Important; *Especially in the elderly)

• History of suicide attempts
• Talking about suicide or leaving a suicide note
• Planning for suicide (e.g., making a will, giving away their things, saying their goodbyes)
• Being depressed (Caution: suicide rates increase when someone appears to be coming out of a deep depression, and in summer)
• Chronic, unresolved grief
• Poverty
• Unemployment, especially in young men
• Feelings of powerlessness, shame, guilt, low self-esteem
• Poor physical health
• Social isolation
• Being single
• Family history of suicide
• Use of alcohol or other drugs
• Having a personality disorder
• Poor sleep
• Bereavement
• Access to firearms
• Being elderly &/or male
• Major holidays and birthdays
• First week following discharge from the hospital
• Just before or after a major diagnosis
• Before or during disciplinary proceedings

The most common means of suicide include:

• Intentional drug overdose, often accompanied by alcohol
• Jumping from a height
• Gun or knife
• Cutting
• Hanging
• Burning
• Asphyxiation
• Intentional self-neglect, especially in the elderly

What can you do if you suspect someone in your life has become suicidal? Here are a few ideas:

1. Take it seriously.
2. Talk about it. Ask about the depression and any suicidal feelings and behaviors.
3. Listen. Listen for the feelings beneath the words. Listen for the pain that has led up to this moment.
4. Don't argue. Don't offer platitudes.
5. Assist the person with getting professional help-even offer to make the appointment and go with him/her to the first visit.
6. Offer to help create a safe environment (remove weapons, drugs, razors, scissors, etc), or offer to spend the night on their couch so s/he isn't alone.
7. Try to get him/her to call a crisis hotline.
8. Don't minimize or deny his/her pain.
9. If suicide seems imminent, don't leave the person alone.
10. If someone is telling you about feeling suicidal, don't agree to keep it a secret-get help.

If someone completes suicide, what can you expect to experience in the aftermath? Typically, survivors will feel an increased sense of rejection, responsibility, various grief reactions, shame, guilt, or even copycat behavior. Some may develop personality disorders.
In summary, suicide is a very complex issue and judgment isn't helpful. After all, we're not walking their path. But it can shake your own foundation to the core, so don't feel like you need to handle this difficult challenge alone. Get support for yourself before you develop complications from the pain and confusion.