Tip One
Being right can be overrated.
Sometimes an argument can ensue if you are really wanting to be right about something. Don't sweat the small stuff. If you absolutely know that you are right, but the other person either doesn't want to see your point of view, or is refusing to listen, then to keep at them, wanting to demonstrate to them that you are correct - will provoke and cause more stress for you. Let it go. You know deep down within that you have all the facts, but for the sake of your own peace - stay calm and let it go.
Tip Two
Don't over-analyse situations
I have looked at my budget, looked at my bank account, looked at my work schedule, gone back mentally over situations thinking that I may have caused somebody some angst, wondered what I coulda-shoulda-woulda in all those useless time wasting endeavours of trying to over-analyse what is going on in my situation. I would have been better off thinking that what is, what is... and if I can't change it, or do anything about it, then just leave it be. Do what I can, and then stop thinking about it.
Tip Three
Don't sweat the small stuff
This is a good one for parents. I have two teenagers and a toddler. I have two autistic teenagers and a partner gets frustrated with toddler mess and other things. A lot of the time, I have to compromise and bend around and twist, for the sake of peace. I have learned that sometimes the little things don't really matter. The messy bedroom, the teenage floor-robe of clothes all over the floor, emptying the bin after asking a gazillion times for the teenagers to do it. Concentrate on what matters - peaceful living. Ask yourself, and get away somewhere quiet if you need to, does this situation matter in the overall scheme of things? Have you got clean clothes, clean dishes, clean toilet and generally not tripping over things? The family wants to watch a particular DVD and you can't stand those kinds of movies. In the end, I have decided that to let them go and do what they want to do, and I can go and do something else to entertain myself.
Tip Four
Don't take on things that aren't your responsibility
Do you get caught up in being overly concerned in what other people are doing? Are you begging your partner to come to the movies with you to see a particular thing, and they just don't want to go? Can you make up your mind to set to yourself, and keep your issues separate from other people, or go on to the movies by yourself? You aren't responsible for another person's happiness, and they aren't responsible for your happiness, so maintain responsibility for attending to your own issues, and let other people be. Are other people prying into your business? Quickly put it to rest by saying that you would prefer not to discuss it, and don't offer your opinion freely. People quickly end up blaming you for their problems if they have asked for your opinions, and then the situation goes belly up. I end up telling people that they have the capacity to solve their own issues, or refer them to seeking professional advice.
Tip Five
Take care of your own legitimate needs
You have a legitimate need not to be a martyr for other people. If you want to help others, by all means help them, but don't compromise on your own legitimate needs such as getting enough sleep, not going out with friends to an expensive restaurant if you really can't afford it, getting enough exercise and getting enough rest and healthy food.
Being right can be overrated.
Sometimes an argument can ensue if you are really wanting to be right about something. Don't sweat the small stuff. If you absolutely know that you are right, but the other person either doesn't want to see your point of view, or is refusing to listen, then to keep at them, wanting to demonstrate to them that you are correct - will provoke and cause more stress for you. Let it go. You know deep down within that you have all the facts, but for the sake of your own peace - stay calm and let it go.
Tip Two
Don't over-analyse situations
I have looked at my budget, looked at my bank account, looked at my work schedule, gone back mentally over situations thinking that I may have caused somebody some angst, wondered what I coulda-shoulda-woulda in all those useless time wasting endeavours of trying to over-analyse what is going on in my situation. I would have been better off thinking that what is, what is... and if I can't change it, or do anything about it, then just leave it be. Do what I can, and then stop thinking about it.
Tip Three
Don't sweat the small stuff
This is a good one for parents. I have two teenagers and a toddler. I have two autistic teenagers and a partner gets frustrated with toddler mess and other things. A lot of the time, I have to compromise and bend around and twist, for the sake of peace. I have learned that sometimes the little things don't really matter. The messy bedroom, the teenage floor-robe of clothes all over the floor, emptying the bin after asking a gazillion times for the teenagers to do it. Concentrate on what matters - peaceful living. Ask yourself, and get away somewhere quiet if you need to, does this situation matter in the overall scheme of things? Have you got clean clothes, clean dishes, clean toilet and generally not tripping over things? The family wants to watch a particular DVD and you can't stand those kinds of movies. In the end, I have decided that to let them go and do what they want to do, and I can go and do something else to entertain myself.
Tip Four
Don't take on things that aren't your responsibility
Do you get caught up in being overly concerned in what other people are doing? Are you begging your partner to come to the movies with you to see a particular thing, and they just don't want to go? Can you make up your mind to set to yourself, and keep your issues separate from other people, or go on to the movies by yourself? You aren't responsible for another person's happiness, and they aren't responsible for your happiness, so maintain responsibility for attending to your own issues, and let other people be. Are other people prying into your business? Quickly put it to rest by saying that you would prefer not to discuss it, and don't offer your opinion freely. People quickly end up blaming you for their problems if they have asked for your opinions, and then the situation goes belly up. I end up telling people that they have the capacity to solve their own issues, or refer them to seeking professional advice.
Tip Five
Take care of your own legitimate needs
You have a legitimate need not to be a martyr for other people. If you want to help others, by all means help them, but don't compromise on your own legitimate needs such as getting enough sleep, not going out with friends to an expensive restaurant if you really can't afford it, getting enough exercise and getting enough rest and healthy food.
No comments:
Post a Comment